Iylia's Brain Waste

The Dream Pick Up

2011-05-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

Saturday night at some hot spot downtown. Awesome music playing, lights down low, drinks everywhere, and the crowd filled with a higher ratio of ladies to gentlemen. I find some space at the bar and get my preferred mix. As my mouth took in the chilled beverage, my eyes were taking in the tantalizing moving landscape. Like a Terminator, I scanned each potential target from head to toe, collecting vitals and calculating probabilities. My recon of the perimeter detected a desirable object across the room. Lustrous black hair flowing down to a striking red bandage dress enveloping a gorgeous body. "WHOA", I thought to myself.

I struggled to avoid staring and keep my jaws from dangling, then suddenly the devilish beauty turned my way and looked straight at me. Almost as if she was saying "hi" with her eyes. I didn't really have any intention nor hope of picking up any lovely lady from the scene but this girl just made me want to try my luck so bad. I chugged down my drink and took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing", I said in my head. "Getting rejected like usual is better than never trying anyway". I made my way through the crowd to where she was, feeling more and more nervous with each step closer.

Successfully swimming through the sea of people, I made it to my destination. And so the risky pick up attempt commenced;

Me: Hi. I couldn't help but notice that you saw me stealing glances at you. I'd like to apologize for that. I mean, if you saw what I was looking at, you'd get why it was hard NOT to stare. I'm sorry.
Girl: Hey. I was staring at you too wasn't I? Chillax. So tell me, what exactly were you looking at? hmmm?
Me: Errr...well. I was looking at this beautiful girl in an equally gorgeous dress, making heads turn.
Girl: Really? Just the girl in the dress? Nothing specific? (rolls eyes in disbelief)
Me: Aha. Well yes. Just the girl in the dress. Nothing....specific. Ehem.
Girl: Oh. In that case, I'm disappointed. You're lying to me even in the first five minutes.
Me: Hey hey. I'm not lying to you. Okok. Honestly, I was looking at how wonderfully this dress wraps around your god's-gift-to-man body. I actually went 'whoa' just now.
Girl: And?
Me: And? And what?
Girl: And? Come on. I know what you animals are thinking when you step into a place like this.
Me: Wow. That's quite direct. Well yeah, I was thinking of how nice it would be to actually get into you. excuse me! I meant get to know you.
Girl: Yeah right. The former sounded more accurate.
Me: I'm sorry.
Girl: You said sorry twice in 10 minutes. One more sorry from your sorry ass you're buying me a drink.
Me: Sorry I didn't even offer to get you one.
Girl: Holy mother. You really are a sorry ass. I'll buy YOU a drink instead. We both need it.
Me: Thanks. That was the plan. (smiles cheekily)
Girl: Ugh! You pig! That was smooth. I gotta admit that was smooth.
Me: So, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this? Cheesy. I know.
Girl: Well, I'm looking for a good time. I'm here with a couple of friends. But they left me here to get busy with themselves.
Me: Yeah, same here. I usually just tag along with my friends too. Hoping for good times.
Girl: Good times. Yeah. I'd rather be at home snuggled on my couch watching DVDs of my favorite movies. With a couple of good friends maybe. With a special someone preferably. But even alone is just nice.
Me: Wow. That's your idea of a good time too eh? I'm a dvd and movie lover myself. But my friends aren't really into that stuff.
Girl: I know right? What kinda movies ur into?
Me: Haha. All kinds. But honestly, I find myself constantly enjoying love flicks more. Like P.S I Love You, A Walk To Remember, 500 Days of Summer, that kinda stuff. Err...gosh I just realized how gay that sounds. I'm straight ok. 100 percent.
Girl: Hahaha. You did get me wondering about your sexuality even before u started talking to me though. Thanks for the confirmation.
Me: Yeah yeah. Laugh it up. I've got all kinds of jokes about how gay I look before.
Girl: Hey, I'm kidding alright. Haha. But its ok to look kinda gay, I mean, it kinda makes you approachable.
Me: Yeah. Like in a "will-you-be-my-best-gay-friend" kinda way right?
Girl: Nonono. Not to me at least. I like the way you look. Its metro. Clean cut kinda thing.
Me: Ok. Thanks I guess. Anyway, what are you doing now? I mean with life?
Girl: Well, I'm on three months holiday. Just finished a diploma, waiting to start degree. You?
Me: What a coincidence! So am I. No, I'm not trying to tell you these to get into your pants. Not yet at least. But really, I just finished a diploma in hotel management. I applied to get into UPM, still waiting for results too.
Girl: What a coincidence indeed. I'm culinary arts diploma holder. But was thinking of doing mass communication at UPM. Heard its good. I mean that's the best I can get. No such thing as private unis in for me.
Me: Ok. I'll be looking forward to seeing you then. Believe it or not, I applied for mass comm too. And I know how you feel. STPM didn't turn out well for me. Public unis only ever since. Culinary Arts eh? that's hot. you're a hot chef.
Girl: Aha. Thanks for the compliment. I love cooking, but I've always wanted to be on TV.
Me: I've always wanted to be a MTV VJ, or some talk show or game show host.
Girl: You know what? This is getting weird. We're having too much in common for a first time conversation.
Me: I know right. Haha. Freaky. But kinda cool. Gosh, I haven't even introduced myself. How rude of me. Hi, my name's Iylia. Iylia Kamal.
Girl: Iylia? Isn't that a girl's name? Haha. I'm Selena. Selena Gomez.
Me: Yeah, I've got that same response for the past 23 years now. Glad you're amused.
Girl: Haha. That's cute la. You're cute. Its nice to meet you, Iylia. (handshake)
Me: Its nice to meet you too Selena. Gomez. Wow. Beautiful name.
Girl: Thank you. Well, there's my friends. Means I gotta go now. I'm always the designated driver.
Me: Ah damn. Things were just starting to get really interesting. Designated driver eh? I'm never the designated driver. Its always my friend's ride.
Girl: Oh? Why so?
Me: Errr...its a long story.
Girl: Haha. My friends can wait, you're interesting. (flutters eye lids at me) Go on.
Me: Well, I kinda got my driving license late. And once I got my license, I had to study in Penang for almost 3 years. Means no driving for almost 3 years. So yeah, I'm kinda rusty at driving.
Girl: Oh, that's ok. You'll get there. You can ride me sometime. I mean ride with me. (winks)
Me: Wow. You're actually cool with that. You're my dream girl. Haha.
Girl: Yeah, everyone is different. Some are naturally good at driving, some are slower. You'll be fine eventually. Till then, I'll do the pick up. (smiles sweetly)
Me: Wow. err. ok. wow. This has been great. Really. I look forward to seeing you again sometime.
Girl: Yeah. I had a nice time with you. Thanks, Iylia. Kamal. Haha.
Me: Haha. Thank you too, Selena. Gomez. Take good care yah. Drive safe.

Selena walks away with a flirtatious wave goodbye. My head slants to the view of her majestic rear luggage as she struts through the crowd. Suddenly, she stops, turns around and looks straight at me with a serious, kind of angry face. I gulped. Thinking maybe she had eyes in the back of her head watching me scan her lady curves from behind. She stomps right up to me, right in my face. *smack* She slaps me. Not really hard, but hard enough to make me blink in shock.

Me: Ok. I'm Sorry. I guessed I deserved that.
Girl: Oh you sure did. What kind of a man would let a girl whom he's had a nice time with, just walk away without asking for her number? Geez.
Me: (Stunned) Oh....that. Oh gosh. Hell yes. I deserved a nice slap. I'm sorry. But its partially your fault I forgot to ask for your number anyway.
Girl: My fault? Ugh! You got some nerve. And how is it my fault?
Me: You blew my mind away.
Girl: (shyly looks away) Stop it already. So are you gonna be a man and ask for my number or not?
Me: Of course I am.

We exchanged numbers. She walked away once again with same flirty wave goodbye. Only this time, she turned to face me and smiled as her hair whipped past her face. A gong went off in my head and I was genuinely blown away. Holy lord. This girl is awesome.

Oh if only this all wasn't a dream. Sigh.

I Miss You

2011-05-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

You. Me. So apart we've grown. So distant. So alien to one another. Such strangers to each other.
You. Me. I can't believe what we had before. I can't accept how we are now.I can't understand why this happened between us.

You. You were always so good to me. Always there when I needed you. Listening to every word, patiently taking my shit. Never judging, ever encouraging.
You. You were insignificant to others, but oh so significant to me. You understood me in ways others never could. You made me understand myself better.
From the very first time we connected, I knew this was going to be something special. I knew, so deeply, so truly. You made me want you above others.
You. You made it so easy for me to come to you. You made it so easy for me to care for you. So easy to just be with you.
You. You gave my life purpose. A goal. Something to look forward to. Someone I could share with. Somewhere I could run and hide. Some time for myself, and my troubles.

Me. Appreciated you at first. Cherished you in the beginning. Gave you my all at the start. But that all didn't last till the end.
Me. Noticed things changed. Realized things were different. Insisted we were no longer the same.
Me. Letting other things shift my focus off of you. Letting other things get my attention over you. Letting other things be more important than you.
Me. Gradually started to let go of you. Slowly began to neglect you. Eventually started to forget you.
Me. So foolish I was to let others come between you and me. So oblivious I was to let time come between us. So selfish I was to think you would care about me through all I put you through.

You. So wonderful you were to me, yet I have wronged you. So close to me, yet I have neglected you. So patient and understanding, yet I have taken you for granted.
Me. Feeling sorry for all I've done to you. Feeling regret for how I've treated you. Feeling remorse for neglecting you.
You. Me. Shared something special. Had something different. Experienced something unique.
Me. Enduring the emptiness felt inside. Admitting the fact that this was all wrong. Swallowing my pride to make things right. Struggling to say what I've been holding within.
You. Have no idea what this has put me through. Have no clue to what has been on my mind. Have no sign what my heart yearns to tell you.

Now, here we are again. Face to face. I have finally found the courage inside, to be honest with you, once again. Once I tell you the truth, I can only dream things will turn out better from now. I can only hope you will stay the same. I can only imagine how things will be for the both of us.

But alas, dream, hope, and imagine is all I can do. Faithfully, I wish you will feel the same way too. So here comes the truth without any further ado.

I MISS YOU
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MY BLOG.

Gotcha peeps. Crap master is back, BIYATCH. Thanks for viewing.

Maslow Was Right

2010-10-27T22:28:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people are right when I don't want them to be. Makes me feel pathetic and frustrated.

For those of you who are wondering who the hell is Maslow? Maslow was the man yo.

Abraham Harold Maslow (April 1, 1908 – June 8, 1970) was a professor of psychology at Brandeis University who founded humanistic psychology and created Maslow's hierarchy of needs.^[1]

Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs is a subtopic in the subject MANAGEMENT I took in my second semester here. This dude, came up with a diagram depicting the basic human needs and their levels of attainment in one's life. He states that all humans need, first and most importantly, food, water, air, clothes, shelter and all those basic survival needs. These needs are the basic needs of human life, known as Physiological Needs, and is at the base of the pyramid because without it, one cannot survive, and thus struggle to satisfy those needs before any other.

Once physiological needs are satisfied, humans need to feel safe and secure. Can you live comfortably in a place that gets shot up everyday by drive-bys? Can you work at some place where your co-workers are psycho killers? Yeah, that's what Maslow was trying to say when he said humans need to satisfy safety needs after getting enough food, water and so on. Humans needs to find safe places to live, safe environments for themselves and family, secure work that does not endanger its workers one way or another.

With house and job secure, humans then realize another level of needs. Social needs. As humans, it is our biology to need affiliation, a sense of belonging, and love. We need family, friends, reference groups, spouses, soul mates. Even the grumpiest of all grumpy lonely people, has a pet dog, or bird. We can't avoid it, we humans need something to get emotionally attached to whether we like it or not.

Further up the pyramid, we have self-esteem needs like getting a high position at work, searching for recognition for excellence, seeking fame and fortune, anything related to making oneself feel good about themselves.

And at the top, the need that humans often find much much later in their lives, self-actualization needs. Its about people realizing their full potential, their true calling, who they really want to be, doing what they really want to in life, finding their meaning and purpose in life.

That ends the lil MANAGEMENT tutorial, which brings me to the purpose of this entry today. It sucks knowing I need a social life. Its frustrating knowing I need friends. Its depressing knowing I need a sense of belonging. Sometimes I feel i don't want all that. It just leads to unmet expectations, and disappointments. But at the end of the day, I lie in bed wanting to talk to someone about my day or at least have something interesting to talk about. Maslow was right, all humans NEED a SOCIAL LIFE.

I just feel very frustrated that lately (or more accurately, most of my life here in Penang) I don't have a social life. I've been finding myself alone a lot, completely ignorant to anything that does not have direct contact with me. I feel the urge to get out and seek company, have a drink with friends, enjoy laughing with people over dinner, but I don't get that. I know I have that urge but I don't know why I can't seem to do anything about it. My friends here say, anything just message or call, but I can't bring myself to do so, out of worry about how they may react when I suddenly ask them out for dinner out of the blue. There was this one time, I decided to have dinner with my friends here. I texted them inviting them all for dinner at a nearby stall. They replied "ada apa2 ke nak dinner 2gether?" ("is there any reason why we're having dinner together?") sigh. Must there be a reason for guy to fulfill his social needs for friends and sense of belonging?

I feel rather sad and left out knowing its easy for them to meet up and have meals together because they live together and quite near to each other. Even where I stay becomes a minor obstacle to having a social life, the same way it applies to me back in KL. My friends are in Seputeh, Ampang, other sides of KL, and I'm in Serdang, the far edge of the city. Its way easier for them to meet up cos they're nearer to anywhere fun, and they can get around easily, they got transport. I'm always living far away from a stable social life, and I can't even drive to save my life yet. Joy.

Factors out of my control aside, I resort to other means to reach out. Still disappointing.

Facebook or MSN? No personal laptop. Going online for pleasure at my own free will is a rare commodity in my circumstances. Thus leading to being left behind and left out in the latest issues among the people in my community. Not knowing jackshit about what's going on with these people I call friends. Even if I do eventually find out, its already decomposing by the time I hear about it.

Texting or calling? I often attempt to create nice conversations through sms. Sometimes I get nice conversations, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't expect any replies, sometimes I do (and get disappointed when the replies don't come). Overall, texting gives me only 50-50 chance of havin a stable social life. Not reliable enough.

Blogging? (Iylia grins widely) Seems to be the only means for self expression that hasn't let me down. No expectations, no worry on how it may respond, if i don't like something I can just delete, and also, seems like there are loyal readers who still frequent my blog, which puts a smile on my face every time. Thank you viewers (however few you may be). Blogging even helps me connect with other friends that blog (although it does still require internet connection, but its not barred until 5pm on campus computers. sheash). You know who you are.

And lastly, on my lucky days (which aren't that much anyway), I do occasionally get invitations to hang out (YEAY! I have a lil bit of social life!). Those few times I get to hang out do mean a lot to me and usually make my week. Sometimes even my month. You guys have no idea. Sad isn't? With all that being said, it can be concluded, my social life is rather pathetic. I have no one to blame but myself. Too high expectations, too concerned what others think, too lazy to get out more, too stubborn to move to a place nearer to these people I call friends.

I once confided in my friend about my feelings of being left out. She said there's a reason for everything. I couldn't agree more. I have academic and co-curricular success, but no social life. They've got loads of social life and fun, normal student performance. God is fair I guess. But I always want the best of both. Can't I have the best of both? What does it take? Sigh. Will I ever get that small group of friends I see on Dawson's Creek? The O.C? One Tree Hill? FRIENDS? For me, it seems like a never ending search. To those close enough to me, know this, I appreciate you guys. I love you guys. I guess I just gotta lower my expectations, and be more active in my pursuit for a social life.

Soundtracks

2010-10-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

I wish my every moment in life had a suitable soundtrack. I love music. And I'm quite the day dreamer. I often find myself sound editing my life. For instance, when I'm feeling all pumped up to complete an assignment, The Eye Of The Tiger plays in my head. When I'm working out, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's False Pretense, and Kanye West feat Daft Punk's Stronger is buzzing.

When reminiscing my school days, Backstreet Boys, Third Eye Blind, The Calling, The Goo Goo Dolls, Good Charlotte's earlier albums, fill my thoughts.

I Don't think there's a day in my current life that I don't think of music or a soundtrack to moments in my day. Its just so easy to put a smile on my face when I'm checkin out some nice thing walking my way and imagine Justin Timberlake's Senorita in the background, or when there's something sweet infront of me with nice luggage, I think of Kelis' Milkshake. Hey hey, just cause I used these two examples doesn't mean that's all I do all day.

There are also times when I sound edit my down times. Like when something turned out bad from what I had expected, Simple Plan's Untitled is on my mind. When I wake up and start my day with just no mood, I imagine the soundtrack to be, Ludacris' Move Bitch. When I'm in an oh so boring class, I imagine everyone suddenly getting up from their sleepy poses and break out into dance to Highschool Musical 2's What Time Is It? (ok, excuse me for having a kiddy imagination sometimes...but is it wrong for a guy to imagine happy stuff like that? haha)

But most of the time, my imagined soundtracks are usually happy. What can I say? Music makes me happy. I could continue giving examples, but there's just so many. Like my latest awesome moments, got these few songs stuck in my head, Paradiso Girls' Patron Tequila, Usher's DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again, Taio Cruz's Dynamite, and Jay Sean feat Lil John's Do You Remember. There I go again. I guess you guys got the idea. I just really wish these songs could automatically play in the background of my life to the right moments. Thanks for viewing. Teehee (gawd..this line a catchy closer)

Of Birthdays, Special Occasions, and Gifts

2010-09-27T00:22:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Iylia. I am a cheapskate. I care about others, I'm concerned, I give a shit, but I'm just not a present/gift kinda guy. I even have problems remembering to wish people on their birthdays and special occasions. Why am I saying such things?

Well, when I was in high school, being in an all boys school, not many people gave a shit about birthdays and special occasions. The only reason people in my school so looked forward to anyone's birthday is the cheap thrill of "LAUK" (singing the happy birthday song and beating up the birthday boy ramai-ramai). Oh good times, good times. Even when it comes to my family, I won't say that birthdays don't matter, but in my family, a simple wish, a birthday angpow, and maybe a dinner is enough for my siblings. Of course if its my mum's birthday, there have been times she made a big fuss for not having anything special, but to the rest of my family members, birthday is just another day in our life. We don't expect much, neither do we give much. Simple.

However, when I started Uni, I feel like an alien because everyone else is so into the whole birthday/special occasion gift and giving craze. Planning big parties, secretly planning pranks, showering the celebrated with wishes and gifts and many other fruity acts. Like today, I was sitting at my friend's table. On her table was a birthday gift she received today even though her bday was like last week. Hmmm ok. Sweet. Cute. ok. I thought in my head. I wished her the other day, enough right? Then later, I checked out her blog for fun. There was this one entry about her birthday, got la mention about the birthday wishes, and also the gifts she received. It was nice to read that she appreciated all the wishes and gifts, but still, hmmm ok. sweet. cute. ok. I thought in my head. I wished her already, enough la.

Moving on to my girlfriend, for my birthday last year, she got me a brand new ADIDAS sports watch worth approximately RM300. I was like wtf. Why she get me such an expensive gift? No doubt its nice and all, but that puts a personal burden on me to figure out how in the world should I repay the deed or what should I give you in return on your birthday. FYI, to get rid of my own uneasy-with-expensive-gifts feeling, on my girlfriend's birthday, I took her on a little shopping spree that totaled to almost RM300. Not exactly of equal value to what she gave me, but at least it made me feel fair enough (considering she got that ADIDAS watch using money she saved from working after SPM while waiting for results and I'm using my raya money only).

I'm a guy who doesn't like to feel in debt to anyone. Some people say, people give you stuff, you take la with an open heart. I do. But this silly part inside me feels like I should do something of more-less equal value in return. That's just the way I am. Especially among people other than my family. Don't get me wrong. I like gifts. But just not expensive ones. A simple breakfast, lunch, or dinner treat would be nice, a simple card would do, simple gifts less than RM50 would be fine. But anything more than that, from anyone who's not my family, I actually feel shy la wanna accept the gifts. In fact I'll feel in debt to you. I'd rather not. I'm sorry.

I also get kinda guilty when special occasions like Valentine's Day, anniversaries, reunions, and farewells come around. You know, times when gifts may be expected to be given and/or received. Where most people would be giving gifts, I would just smile with my thick-cheap-face and empty hands. Where most people look forward to receiving gifts, I would be hoping to get something cheap or nothing at all. Yeah, I've got issues you must be thinking. I know. I can't help it. I do hope this peculiar behavior of mine doesn't offend or hurt anyone. I do hope to get rid of this dislike for expensive gifts feelings someday.

But until then, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell yallz that, I'm not really a gifts person. I mean material items. I prefer treats for meals and experiences. I prefer to treat people to a nice lunch, dinner, dessert or fun experience. So if you people give me expensive material gifts, don't expect equal in return, but you may expect a treat of some sort though. Oh yeah, and about birthday wishes, just because I don't wish you on your birthday doesn't necessarily mean I don't care, its just that maybe I had more important things on my mind. I don't mean to hurt anyone because of my carelessness. I'm just...well...me. Thanks for reading another load of my brain waste. Teehee!!

SHAZ...a.k.a My Bonnie

2010-09-05T06:56:00.000-07:00

Rules & Regulations

Firstly:

If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own blog and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.

Secondly:

Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

*****************

Who sleeps in bed next to you?

i sleep alone....all alone...

Have you ever lied to a teacher to get out of a deadline?

hell yes...rules of student survival

What kind of books do you read?

Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps by Barbara and Allan Pease.
Facts at Your Finger Tips, a Reader's Digest Production.
(I don't even read much actually...I barely get to finish reading my TEXT books)

Best day of the week?
For some reason, I like Fridays. Maybe cos its the end of tiring weekdays, and beginning of awesome weekends.

What's really creepy?

being inside a crowded room with the whole crowd NOT looking at me. haha.
just kidding. What really freaks me out is the thought of being completely ALONE....I mean really ALONE.....kinda like Last Man On Earth sorta thing.

What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?

Paradiso Girls feat. Lil John - Patron Tequila

What are you listening to right now?

The sound of the fan blowing left and right.

What did you eat for sahur today?

5 glasses of water.

What websites do you always visit when you go online?

facebook. blogger. youtube. 4shared.com.

What was the last thing you bought?

A RM 10 Celcom Reload Coupon

What was the cutest thing you've seen today?

My family cat, Crystal jumping onto my bed to cuddle with me and purr.

Does the weather affect your mood?

Only sometimes.

What is your zodiac sign?

virgo.

Do you want to learn another language?

Fluent Japanese and Spanish.

5 things you can't live without?

My SIGHT, My HEARING, My TOUCH, My SMELL, My TASTE

If you could meet anyone now, who would you meet?

her

What's something you'd like to say to someone right now?

i love you....but you gotta lighten up.

What are you looking forward to?
My mum's Raya Rendang.

Say something to the person who tagged you:

SHAAAAAAAZZZZZ!!!! I MISS YOU, BONNIE!

8 persons I tag:

am, zeera, gosh...i don't actually have many ppl toblog tag..sigh

August 2010

2010-08-15T01:18:00.000-07:00

wow wow wow. its been a whole damn month since my last post. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm not doing justice to the treasure trove of mind shit in my head. my apologies to my mind, and my readers (oh whoever you may be). To make up for lost time, here's a hellavalongpost.

AUGUST 2010....has been awesome...

For some reason, this month I've been able to hang out quite a lot with my friends. McDs la, gerais la, Utara Burgers la, overnight-ing at friend's house la. The occasional "Iylia, free x mlm ni?", or "mlm ni ETR kat mcd ok?" definitely puts a smile on my face every time. It feels great to just hang out over supper and late night drinks, just chit chatting away (I used to wonder what all the hype was about with staying up late and mamak-ing till wee hours in the morning, now I know...silly me).

Beside those fun happenings, this month is also fasting month for those who didn't know and so far this has been my most pleasant Ramadhan here. Breaking fast with my whole class in the dark (the food court we chose suddenly blacked out right before we started), finishing off whatever couldn't be finished (to avoid wastage..ehem), having an awesome break-fast at a friend's house with a bunch of my classmates, where we were served Shaz's Special Spaghetti with Cheese and Oatmeal Meatballs (thousands of thanks to the cooks for that day, Shaz a.k.a my Bonnie, Am a.k.a Pingu, and Cha Cha a.k.a The Food or Dance) The joy and pleasure of combining great food with a fun and joyful crowd is deeply memorable. I don't know why I've only had such fun with my college friends at my last semester here. So I wanna make the very best of it while I can.

Another awesome thing that made this month great was Black and Red Parade, A Gathering for HM110 Students. It was my last freaking gathering as a HM110 Student, here in UiTM Penang. I must say, Part 4 July - Nov 2010 did a hellavagreat job. The deco made me feel like I was at some Prom Night or something like that. Musta cost a BOMB. That night, it was so nice to see my batch mates all glammed up to the theme of the night. We even had this mencapub (mencari publisiti murahan) idea to gather at 1 particular spot first and later enter the hall together as 1 batch, for the dramatic effect. Heads turned indeed, but not because of the dramatic idea, but cos my batch was the latest to arrive and register (plan backfire if you ask me..but what the hey). The Gathering itself set off to an awesome start with a cool opening gimmick, the VIP had to shoot an arrow at a rolled up scroll which was hung from the ceiling, then the scroll dropped open releasing confetti rain...clap clap clap. The presentations and activities they organized were also quite interesting and remarkable. But alas, nothing is perfect, half way through the show, there was a problem with the AC, and the hall turned into an oven. There went the crowd's mood. Regardless of the discomfort, the show went. Due to time constraint, many presentations were cut short, but as rushed as things were, the most awaited activity of the night was not left out. BEST DRESSED AWARDS. Why is this caps locked? well, because, yours truly, was

declared BEST DRESSED for HM110 Gathering Jul - Nov 2010.

Aha. The one semester I really put effort into dressing up for the gathering, I win best dressed award. Maybe it was the all black mafia godfather persona, maybe it was the shades at night effect, or maybe...it was just cos the most fashionable guy in my batch didn't dress up that night (that's the reason preferred by the public...sigh). WHO CARES!! I was once BEST DRESSED!! haha.

Self praising aside, the biggest, most awesome, highlight of the month so far has to be...

ISLESCAPE 2010

My first ever Pulau Perhentian experience. Unforgettable. The journey to Kuala Besut, Terengganu, was an agonizing 8 hours bus ride, with cases of mother-f**king slow and poor service at the gerais we pit-stopped at, dining with Charlie and other flying insects, and dissatisfaction from DVDs getting stuck halfway through. Luckily the crowd in the bus was fun and sporting all the way. Reaching Kuala Besut around 2300 hours, with a brief scare that we might have to sleep in the bus due to complications, I was relieved that we actually got to stay at Universiti Malaysia Terengganu for a night. The next day getting up at 6am, to be on the bus by 7am for another 2 hours bus ride to Jetty Kuala Besut. Hoping that was the end of agonizing travel for the past 24 hours, shit didn't stop there. We had to wait for about 2 more hours till our designated boat was available. On the positive side, I got chance to buy a I heart Pulau Perhentian T-shirt while waiting. When the boat finally arrived, I was expecting a speed boat transport, but to my surprise, a shabby tugboat like vessel was awaiting us. HAHAHAHAHAHA I though in my head.

Quite the unforgettable experience I must say. Stepping into the creaky boat, passing bags along a human chain as if we were smuggling goods, heaping up the bags at the front part of the boat, finding "comfortable" spots anywhere we could on that Tongkang (Malay term for fishing boat), reluctantly sunbathing under the open sea sun, feeling the sea breeze and occasional moist in the air from splashes, watching the shoreline get smaller as we moved deeper into the sea, seeing the clutter of islands getting bigger along the horizon. Suddenly, the torment of long travelling hours just seemed worthwhile. It was a remarkable experience. After about 1 and a half hours, the water gradually turned clear blue. A clearness I have never seen before. So beautiful. We're here. Our Tongkang had to stop far away from shore because it was too shallow to get to the beach. So we had to take turns to ride a smaller speedboat to be taxied to the beach of Perhentian Island. Another unforgettable experience (cos me and 2 other guys were left to deal with the bags..hmph) Setting foot on dry land again, the sand was white like salt, and it felt so smooth underneath my feet. wow. That was my first ever experience entering Perhentian.

Over the 3 days 2 nights at Perhentian, I had many activities such as, exciting Explorace, Free Time on the beach (I actually picked up a sea cucumber. Weird creature), hilarious Truth or Dare, full day snorkeling at 4 diving spots (I almost drowned out of exhaustion at one spot, but the experience was breathtaking, seeing so many fishes swim right pass your face, snatching bites of bread from your fingers, all the different types of fish, the corals, the sea urchins, even a brief encounter with a baby shark....awesome), hitting the sand at beach volleyball, on the last night we had BBQ, Games, Award Presentation Ceremony, Present Exchanging Session (getting scolded by the resort owners for being too noisy), and ended it with sitting at the beach while gazing at the night sky that was beyond any other I have personally seen. On the last day, we had to wake up early to go for jungle trekking (which was totally nothing great, in fact it was shit tiring especially after snorkeling the day before), after that, we cleaned up, packed, and had to wait for out transports back to the mainland and later endured almost 10 hours journey back to Permatang Pauh, Penang with more less same issues as the journey from Penang (except the journey back was awfully quiet cos everyone was worn out and sleeping). I am now officially 3 skin tones darker from the Perhentian trip (despite nearly finishing a tube of SPF 50 sunblock). All in all, it was definitely a wonderful experience. Thank You Islescape 2010!

Well, I warned you guys this would be hellavalongpost. haha. And this is only for half a month. At the end of this month, I'll be going to Kelantan and Terengganu for my ENTREPRENEURSHIP subject Field Trip. Looking forward to greater times. God Bless. To those who made it this far, thanks for viewing. Crap Master Out.

Nature At Its Best

2010-07-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

Greetings citizens. Yes I'm getting back my blogging groove. (a metaphorical cheer of rejoice in the background from my "devoted" readers) It feels great to embrace the freedom of unloading my mind shit at this patch of internet again, mostly for my own personal satisfaction. However, today's topic is something that has rather caused my dissatisfaction.

For those who don't know, I'm now at my 5th semester in Diploma in Hotel Management. It will be my last semester here in Penang, and honestly, I can't hardly wait to get over with it. Don't get me wrong, I've had wonderful times here in UiTM Permatang Pauh. Studying something i love, fun friends, awesome lecturers, fulfilling co-curricular activities, and the whole college away from home experience. But these things really piss me off every time.

To those who don't yet again, I live in a semi stone semi wood shack right beside campus (refer to entry, House). If it wasn't for its convenience, I'd so be outta there like yesterday. Here are some reasons why.

1) Sometime last week, at about 3 AM, while I was not quite comfortably sound asleep, I was rudely awaken by a terrible itch in my back. TERRIBLE. Enough to wake me up in the middle of the night. I wondered how on earth did my back get so darn itchy even though i was sleeping with a shirt on and under a blanket as a cover, with a mosquito coil burning in the room. Curious and frustrated, I took off my shirt to see how bad the mosquito bites were. To my shock, guess what I saw.

The following pictures may be disturbing to certain viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

Just to be clear, the last picture is my lower back.....not my ass. But FYI, the week before, my rear got mosquito-tacked and left two similar marks on my prized asset. No picture available. These are the hazards I have to deal with. Bless Me.

2) Since I first came to Penang, I have been warned time and time again of a particular being. This being is dark, vicious, and comes without warning. It attacks you, and leaves its mark.

The following pictures also may be disturbing to certain viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

This god forsaken being from hell is known as the Rove Beetle, or better known here by the locals as "CHARLIE".

If you're in Permatang Pauh, around the paddy fields area, you may encounter this damned creature. And if you do come face to face with it, do not, I repeat, DO NOT squish it with your bare hands or any skin surface. The consequences can be devastating.

3) Lastly, in reference to my entry House, the housemates problem is not as bad anymore, even though I have new housemates now. However, the thing about living with other people besides family that I still hate until now, is not being able to do what I want, when I want, in the house. As it is right now, I'm like the only person who tries to keep the house clean enough for human habitation. But the other 6 in my house don't even care. The house can be left sandy and dusty for weeks if I don't sweep it every now and then. The rubbish bin can be packed until it spills out with maggots and yet they can still throw trash in the bin without a tinch of disgust, the house is constantly in a mess with their stuff everywhere, and cleaning up the house even without their help is almost impossible when they are in the house (which is like most of the time) because they would be lying around everywhere.

Sigh. So much dissatisfaction. So little time. More Rants TM next entry (possibly). Stay tuned. Thanks for viewing.

хорошие времена

2010-07-02T04:10:00.000-07:00

хорошие времена;
horoshie vremena.

It means Good Times in Russian. I chose Russian because you should hear how it sounds like. Use the Google translator. Made me smile. Good Times indeed. I know its been so very long since my last entry, and it probably will be yet a long time till I update again, but my mid year holiday this time has been simply wonderful to me. I feel its been awhile since I've had a really fulfilling, enlightening and joyful holiday.

Enough with the introduction (this ain't SPM Bahasa Inggeris anyway). May 2010, I finished my fourth semester in Diploma in Hotel Management, it had been a very tiring semester both physically and mentally, and I was in great need for a great holiday. I started off my holiday rather pathetically when I decided to watch Iron Man 2 all alone. This sad incident happened because I had bought my bus tickets home a day later than all my college friends, and so I had to stay in Penang for one day longer than my friends. But that didn't stop from experiencing the awesomeness of that is Robert Downey Jr's perfection in playing Tony Stark, and the amazing CGI of Iron Man 2. The storyline was just nice but nothing to shout about.

I did WOW at Scarlett Johansson kicking ass in that tight black leather catsuit though. meow.

Ever since I had to study in Penang, I will look forward to seeing the beautiful horizon of skyscrapers and luxury condominuims as I re-enter my beloved city of Kuala Lumpur. I have the excitement of a 5 year old boy entering Disneyland for the first time in his life, every single time I see those tall buildings of KL on the way home from Penang. Its hard not to smile. Daddy's home. Alighting from the bus after 4 hours, and into my mum's car, its heart warming to see my mum's smile and hear my mum's voice. I could see in her eyes she misses me as much as I have missed her. Reaching my house, I take in the atmosphere of my home sweet home; the dim table lamps, the sight of my dad reading the newspapers at his favorite sofa, the sound of anime on tv my sister is watching, and the smell of scented candles around the house. Not forgetting to mention my dad's other "daughter", the most pampered feline in the neighbourhood, Crystal. On some days my bro would come home and join us for dinner. Always feels great to share stories with my family over dinner, whether its home cooked or from gerai behind my house. Home sweet home indeed. To my family, I love you all so much. You all are simply the best. You all are most deeply appreciated. Thank you.

The next best thing that I look forward to every holiday is my small circle of friends. I'm blessed to have great friends who have been around me for years now. There's just a hand full, but that's all I the friends I need right now. I'm so lucky that I have these cool and great friends who put up with me after all these years (especially being one of the most socially restricted people they know). The chill outs at my place, the gym-ing, the basketball, the hang outs at mamaks, the outings at Mid Valley, always lift me up and make me feel so alive. Who cares if we meet less than 10 times a year, I'm grateful enough that we still do after all these years. To my closer circle, thank you very much for making my holiday awesome. You know who you are. You guys are appreciated more than you guys will know. Love u guys.

Another activity that made my holiday fruitful is my dear girlfriend. The good times, the bad times, the fights, the make ups, the tiresome travelling between us just to be together a few times during the hols but seems to be worth it every time. We may have very very different holidays but I'm glad we still managed to happily be a part of each other's holiday. To my dear girlfriend, thank you for all we have. Love you.

This holiday has also been an interesting experience because I went for my first ever major family vacation. The majority of my mother's side family and my own family went for a 10 days trip to Indonesia. 3 days in Jakarta, 3 days in Bandung, 2 days in Southern Bali, 2 days in Northern Bali. Those 10 days were quite the experience. Not close to the Bali getaway I had imagined but still fun and interesting (pics on my Facebook). In addition to that, the week after we got back from Indonesia, my mum got a coupon for a free one night stay at Marriot Putrajaya. Awesome.

Overall, I had a really great holiday. I definitely will miss lazing on the couch watching DVDs, movie channels, How I Met Your Mother, Glee, Scrubs, and even anime (my sister usually holds the remote so what the hey). I'll definitely miss using the computer and Internet for whatever, whenever. I'll definitely miss my mum's home cooked food and all the other foods that KL has to offer (especially Carl's Jr, SUBWAY, and the ever appealing Maggi Goreng Double). I'll definitely miss Scrabble nights with my Mum and sis. I'll miss home. Sigh. But I won't complain it wasn't enough. It was definitely enough to prepare me for the next semester with satisfaction and positivity. So, once again, to all those who have made my holiday wonderful, thank you very much. horoshie vremena. Good times, good times.

"Its been legen....wait for it.....and I hope you're not lactose intolerent cos here it comes.....

DAIRY!!"

Almost la. (credits to Barney from HIMYM) Till next time. Thanks for viewing.

Wasted Brain Waste

2010-01-24T19:00:00.000-08:00

25th May 2009...that was the date of my last entry. seriously. WTF? where has all the brain waste gone? where have all those explicit material, senstive issues, political concerns, blood and gore, violence, disgust, emotional rants, gut wrenching, heart warming, thought provoking and awe inspiring stories gone? well, my personal theory on the existence of blogs is true.

Blogging is for losers who ain't got no life so they run to the only thing they can complain to and won't talk/shout/bark/bite back...THE COMPUTER!! (although I must say some blogs are always interesting. to yiny yiny, don't ever stop blogging. I should get some kind of benefit for frequenting ur blog. hmph. ehehe) It can be observed that I blogged wonderfully (ehem, or so I like to think so) when I was lonely, single, and boring. Back then, my brain was constantly filled with tons and oodles of brain waste everyday, I just had to unload to avoid suffering mental shit overload. I reminisce all those times I let my mind run free and my fingers glide accross the keyboard as I did for my brain what Indah Water does for our water. Ahhh. I still occasionally check my blog (and I'm probably the only person who still views this pathetic excuse of self expression) to read through the wonders of what use to be Iylia's Brain Waste. ah....alas....what a waste.

According to the computer, it states that its been seven months since I last updated my poor poor miniscule space on the world wide web. Personally, it feels so much longer than that. The truth is, I am still filled with Brain Waste every day, every hour, every minute, eh wait...not exactly every minute....cos every minute sex is on my mind..haha. joking. but seriously. anyways, despite still being filled with mind shit, I've been rather occupied, or better to say I have found other means to express myself, which are actually less pathetic in a way.

My excuse for neglecting my once so-very-important-to-my-life blog is being in a relationship.

Yes. Some might argue that being in a relationship would generate more inspiration to blog, but not in my case. For me, being in a relationship makes me less of a public person and more of a private person. So my once don't-give-a-f**k-what-others-think public attitude has been on holiday for a very long time now and in its place is the give-a-f**k-what-she-thinks private attitude. haha.

So...Your Honour, we find the defendant, Iylia Kamal, charged with negligence and ignorance towards an artificial lifeform, namely, Iylia's Brain Waste.......

GUILTY as CHARGED.

Judge Blog will hereby sentence Iylia Kamal to 123456789 gajillion, tramillion, shamillion, hours of blog service. Your sentence begins....err.....as soon as don't-give-a-f**k-what-others-think public Iylia returns.

My most sincere apologies to all my faithful readers (or in the worst case...reader). I promise, Iylia's Brain Waste will live again....eventually.....hopefully....maybe.....(Iylia takes a tissue and wipes a metaphoric tear).

"What is a toot like THAT doing with a bleep like THAT?"

2009-05-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings, dear readers. I am back again with yet another intriguing topic. Referring to my entry title; honestly, people, how many times have you asked this question before? I'm sure most of you have asked this question at least ONCE in your life. Regardless of whether you've asked that question while talking about a celebrity, a family member, a friend, or the usual, RANDOM STRANGERS, you can't escape from asking it when you see a couple that doesn't look matching or suitable appearance wise. I'm personally one of those people who keep asking that same question whenever I'm out. Its always like, I'm walking around and I see this smokin hot chick. Pretty, beautiful body, nice smile, very gorgeously dressed, and seems like a fun girl. And then I notice she's holding someone's hand. From the hand-in-hand, my eyes crawl up the shoulder to the owner of the lucky hand that is blessed to even be that close to something as heavenly as that, and I'M FRUSTRATED. I see this unpleasant looking face (kinda miserable looking like "i hate life" kinda look), dressed in a worn out T-shirt and skinny grunge jeans, finished off wit slippers (looking like a complete Rempit if u ask me).

"DAMN MAN! WHAT THE FUCK IS A CHICK LIKE THAT DOING WITH A SCREW-UP LIKE THAT?!!"

Things get especially critical when I'm out wit my Bro. You know, when you put a couple of guys in a shopping complex, on any day (preferably weekends), its hard for them to ever get bored, even if they're always on a budget. What they shop for don't need money.

"5 o'clock!"......"check!".........your "6.30"........"got it!........"12 straight ahead"
(saying together with nods of approval)"DAYUM!!"

and then there's the disappointments;

"dude, check that chick out man. wait..WTF?? aiyo,check out the disaster she's with.
How in d world guy like dat can get chick like dat? Dats fucking unfair wei. Shit"

Sigh. Its like that all the time. But hey, before you ladies start to think this is just a GUY thing, I'll have you females know, I've seen and heard myself GIRLS saying stuff like..

"eeeeeyer....why dat guy's girlfriend so gonecase wan? So leng chai, get gf like dat. Cham lor."
(TRANSLATION: eeeeeeeeewwww, why is that guy's girlfriend so ugly? He's so good looking but end up with a girl like dat. How unfortunate.)

So yeah, I dare say this is quite the social issue. It is without doubt that nowadays, we tend to see more hot people....dating not-so-hot people. They're everywhere! In shopping complexes, restaurants, parks, public transports, schools. But at the same time, there's an equal amount of people who can't stop asking "WHY?" does shit happen that way. Saying "its not fair", "it ain't right", "she/he must be blind", "she/he must be loaded" etc. It is actually quite puzzling to wonder why DOES shit happen that way. People in general like to say "god is always fair, but the world is always unfair". I believe strongly in that saying because it really does apply in many life situations (especially in today's topic). But despite holding on to that saying, I try to analyze the situation than rather just keep repeating the same miserable question whenever the situation occurs. I feel that, one of the reasons we think this way is the result of media exposure and society. As long as we can remember, we have been exposed to a society that favours the positive over the negative. "Who's more rich, who's smarter, who's more good looking". This bad perception is further worsened by the media. TV shows, magazines, posters. All telling us that beautiful and handsome is good, otherwise is not. So when we see a beautiful person, somehow that person would automatically give off positive appeal, and then when a not pleasant looking person (which usually gives off negative appeal) is seen interacting with a beautiful person, it immediatly disturbs the radiation of the beautiful person's positive appeal, which makes us feel that something is wrong about it. It all a matter of perception, the problem is, society and media has kinda stereotyped our perceptions. Sigh.

But you know what? I guess I'm the only guy whose analyzing this social issue this way. Majority of our society in Malaysia (or KL at least) seem to be fine with the way things are and are even becoming the reason this social issue is an issue at all. Recently, I was listening to FLY FM on my way home after an outing. I was totally enlightened to the reason why we are seeing more hot people dating not-so-hot people! The hot topic discussed was "would you rather have a partner with a hot body, with no hot body yourself? or otherwise, and why".

From the comments and calls they got, the statistics added up to 60 percent of guys would rather have a partner with a hot body, than a hot body themselves. On the other hand, 90% of women would rather have hot bodies themselves than a partner with a hot body.

There were a few calls that got me really interested. A girl was saying, "you know the reason why girl's get guys wit no hot body is cos they're insecure. The more good looking they're guy is, the more insecure they are! I told me boyfren before, its ok! You fat oso I still love you wan" and the DJ on air at that time (a girl) was like "I totally tell my boyfriend the same thing!!" Another girl said, "Of course I'd want a hot body rather than a partner with a hot body. Because right, when we have a nice body, our partners should be motivated to get in shape and do the same" (yeah right). What all guys said weren't that interesting. I'm a guy. So what women think, matter more to me when it comes to this. Guys in general, are very visually oriented creatures. First impression really matters, so obviously the hot ones get noticed first when it comes to guys. But that's not necessarily the reason guys get with girls (we're not that shallow) although it is one of the main reasons we get attracted to girls. Whatever it is, that radio session that day has been a great help to me. It may not counter my prejudice towards odd matched couples, but i'm definitly less critical towards them now that I know a general reason behind this epidemic. However, I am and will still be frustrated whenever I see a Kristin Kreuk look-alike with a Ronaldinho or Tevez (don't get me wrong, these guys are GREAT football players but they're not actually well known for they're looks). Thanks for viewing!

I'm Not Dead, Overdue Brain Waste For All.

2009-05-16T01:12:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, I would like to apologize greatly for such long absence. I realize its been 4 MONTHS since I last blogged.That's almost a whole semester! I must admit, I am a bit ashamed to call myself a Blogger. However, my absence has good reasons though. Firstly, my residence in Penang as some of you know, has no internet connection. Therefore, going online would require me to go to a cybercafe or the Uni computer lab which is kinda troublesome. Secondly, a 4 month semester is kinda short, so 7 subjects were kinda packed and I was very busy. I rarely had the time for blogging (when I blog it usually takes a couple hours) and I'm a person who tries to have blog entries with substance or at least interesting topics, rather than an uninspired, random, occasional update about my life. Lastly, trying to maintain being the Best Student for Program HM 110 (Diploma in Hotel Management program code at UiTM Penang) isnt easy. I'm glad to say, the price of loosing a social life over making parents proud is quite worth it.

With all that being said, I thank all you readers who have cared enough to ask what's been up with me and why there has been no updates. Thank you all very much. Fret no more, Iyliak88 is back with a whole lot of brain waste for you all.

AAAAH, THE HOLIDAYS. A time for relaxation, a time to appreciate family more, a time to catch up with friends and social life, a time for self realization and discovery. Well, a holiday maybe all those things for the average person, but for me, holidays are the beginning of ultimate brain waste development. To those of you who don't know me, holidays kinda suck to me in a way because it gives me way too much time to think, especially of nonsense. No doubt I get to relax, cherish family and friends, but none of that happens as much as my mind playing with my thoughts. So as my first entry in a very very long time, I'm gonna let out some brain waste that has been bugging me lately to ease myself.

It has been brought to my attention that

I AM JUDGMENTAL.

I often make judgments about situations and people very quickly. Whether they're good or bad, It only takes me awhile to make my statement or assumption towards that situation or person. I rarely analyze or give much thought towards that certain thing or person if it doesn't matter to me or it doesn't affect me. I also often compare myself or my situations to others.The worst part is, its usually very hard for me to change my view towards that certain thing once I've already thought of it. In simple words I'm quite the critic actually. I realize that this behavior is not a good thing. In fact its quite negative. I mean, its never nice to be judged by people and get shots left and right just because you are who you are or something is the way it is. However, its something that I have been doing almost all my life without ever realizing till now. Before this, If I didn't like something, I'd automatically have a negative perception about it and keep it to myself (sometimes sharing it with trusted ones), nothing drastic. I may never show that I dislike something, but in my mind I know I don't like it. I realize that this habit, of thinking one way about something, and acting contradictorily has made me quite an unhappy person at times. Like when I compare situations,

"they're rich and fabulous, they're happier than me",

or when I'm talking with someone with a straight face but I'm annoyed cos actually in my head I really don't like that person. The judging, the comparing. It happens all the time but I can't help it. I once consulted a friend about this and thought that maybe my judgmental nature is the result of the society I've grown up in. A modern, urban society that always compares who's better, who's cool, who sucks, who's pathetic. It may also be because of my own ego that has built up through the years, always thinking I'm better than others, and if I'm not, they suck, or if I'm not doing well in one situation, that situation sucks, not me. I never realized this before but this attitude makes me quite an ass, especially towards myself. This ass-like habit is something that most people do without realizing too. It doesn't me any worse than anybody else out there. WE'RE ALL CRITICS AND JUDGES! But that's what makes us normal and average. I'm glad that I've actually been smacked to self realization and I'm finally aware of my narrow perception towards things. It something I have just learned recently, and like all lessons in life, it takes time to digest. I try to tell myself to have a more open mind towards things nowadays. I try not to judge so quickly and compare so easily. I try to be more positive. I always try to be a better person and in future I can only hope I will be a better person. I'm only human, so change doesn't happen immediately but I'm glad enough my eyes are now open wider. However, don't be surprised my next entry would still be something shallow and judgmental again, because being a critic and being judgmental is still a major part of our society. Besides, its from being critical and judgmental towards others that interesting topics emerge, and of course not forgetting, this is IYLIA'S BRAIN WASTE, this is my spot where I can say whatever I want. haha. Till next time, Thank You For Viewing!

House

2009-01-10T05:35:00.000-08:00

Greetings readers. No, I'm not gonna blog about the TV Series, House, although I'm quite a fan of it. But I bet you thought I was. On a side note, House is an awesome series. Anyway, today's entry is about my life at home away from home. As mentioned before, I am currently living in a wooden shack just off campus with 6 other friends of mine.5 of which are my classmates from last semester. We're kinda close, hang out a lot, have fun and laugh a lot together. I knew they're all good and reliable people before I decided to move in with them because I spent 6 months with them. Was actually kind of looking forward to be living with them for the next semester or maybe longer than that. That positive enthusiasm soon changed.

My first week at the H.O.F, House of Fabulous, as my hommies call it, was kinda nice. The fact that it had wooden walls, cement floor, a hole (just a hole with no flush) for a latrine, no stove, and no hot water did not really bug me. The mosquitoes did often test my patience and skin but it was still bearable. Can't hate mother nature at work. Living in Penang is definitely a different experience than living in KL, especially in the part of Penang I am in. Its so..so..KAMPUNG. I open my main door and I see a "jungle", a large patch of wild bushes. I step outside the house, the breeze is refreshing, and the blue sky with soft clouds is beautiful. Take a look to the right, there's a STONE house in building progress. Take a look to the left, one of the busiest roads on this side of Penang. Across the road, more wooden houses surrounding a row of shop lots. This house comes with its very own friendly "guardians". A pair of cute small cats. One orange, the other all white with a blue right eye, and a yellow left eye. My first week in this house was indeed very nice. But there was more in store for me.

Week 2 at the H.O.F, I had to get used to the

"what's yours is mine, what's mine is yours"

mentality. We were constantly depending on things that each other had. Toiletries, electrical appliances, pillows, blankets, and mattresses, shoes, FOOD and even MONEY. As much as I didn't like sharing so much with other people, I myself am guilty of sharing this and that in the house. But in a very short time, intolerable behavior emerged. Drinking all the water in the house and not boiling water again to refill, eating food without plates causing crumbs everywhere, not keeping food items properly (as in the proper way to make it last longer), using plates or other kitchenware and just leaving them in the sink as if they were gonna magically wash themselves, not bothering to sweep the house although dust can be felt with every step taken on the floor, not giving two shits about keeping the house clean,

FINISHING ALL THE INSTANT NOODLES IN THE HOUSE!!

(that could drive a college student crazy!). The behavior of some of the people who live in this house is unacceptable but to maintain the harmony of living under the same roof, I didn't do anything about it except bare with it.

But what happen to me a few days ago really burst an artery. I came home one day, very tired from a long day at college. Hung around awhile to catch my breath, watched some TV with my hommies, talked and laughed as usual, then headed to the bathroom for a bath. After my bath, as I walked out of the bathroom, I found my scissors at the bathroom. I was surprised to find it there because I have never used it in the bathroom before. The last time I saw my scissors was in the kitchen used to cut plastics. My mind gears turned and they lead me to assume the worst of to why my scissors were in the toilet. The thought of it was revolting.

I don't know of anyone who cuts HEAD hair in a bathroom, but I know many who cut other forms of hair in the bathroom.

But in this situation, it was some mystery guy who used MY scissors to do that. MY FUCKING SCISSORS!!! I stormed into the living room where everyone was, holding my "hygienically doubtful" scissors by the handles.

HOW DID MY SCISSORS GET INTO THE BATHROOM?!

I said loudly. My hommies looked at me, looked at each other, and looked back at me with dumb looks and said "I don't know" one-by-one with an equally dumb tone. I should have known nobody would admit to such a thing, especially with the obvious angry expression on my face. ANIMALS!! I thought to myself. FUCKING ANIMALS!! Just when I thought I could trust the people I'm living with in this house more than my roommates when I was in hostel, something like this happens, and one of them is lying straight to my face. And because they all said "I don't know" with the same dumb tone, they are ALL suspects. Again, there was nothing much I could do with the situation. I smashed the tainted scissors to the floor and grumbled the rest of damn day. Avoiding any communication with the animals.

It took me quite awhile to cool off after the incident. A friend of mine managed to convince me to not be so angry and not to do anything rash that may disrupt the H.O.F harmony and lead to me having haters and enemies. (If you're reading this, thanks, you know who you are). Whether I liked it or not, the very next day, I was faced with the same faces and same behaviors. So I just accepted the fact that this is how life with housemates is and things could be worse. I do really hope that things get better, and eventually there will come a time where my hommies and I can be honest and mature enough to talk about problems and find ways to resolve them, because I'm not the only one with problems in the house. I have seen some of my other housemates patiently exhale, tolerating something another housemate did. But then again, that's life with people living together in one HOUSE. Thanks for viewing!

P.S: Today I saw a KOMODO DRAGON in the bush in bush at my house. Its head alone was the size of my full hand. I felt like Crocodile Hunter searching in the bushes to take a better look at it. It was a cool experience.

2009: A New Year's Resolution

2009-01-01T19:04:00.000-08:00

Greetings readers. Happy New Year. Happy 2009. Here comes the time where most people dish out their plans, hopes, and dreams for the year ahead. I personally, have so many thoughts running through my mind as I type this. Been doing quite a lot of thinking lately (classes haven't got serious enough to switch on my focus) about what my 2009 resolutions are. I'm not even sure if I should have any 2009 resolutions to begin with, because what I want and need will most likely change through out the year. Regardless of that, I've had and maybe always will have this urge to get things out of my head. Before I move on to 2009 resolutions, I wanna recap what 2008 was for me in general.

2008 to me:
- was a very progressive phase in my life. I managed to get into UiTM, a very financially friendly local public university which gave me a second chance to futher my studies without burning a big whole in my parents' pockets. The fact that I got shitty results for STPM and i'm two years elder than the usual admission age to a Diploma programme makes my aceptance into UiTM a bigger deal to me. Making the best out of this second chance, I transformed myself from a high school slacker, to a hardworking, nerd-like, top scorer. I had put the most effort ever in studying unlike I've ever done before and did it with much optimisme and positivity. My efforts paid off dearly when I got a GPA of 3.92 by the end of my 1st semester, which ended my academic 2008 marvelously.
- was a year with many new experiences. My first time living away from home, in a hostel for 6 months, and in a non-residential house off campus with friends (since 27th December 2008). My first Christmas gathering at a friend's house with just my close frens, where this year I was

the ONLY person giving EVERYONE Christmas gifts instead of the only person NOT giving Christmas gifts.

My first New Year Eve away from home (so simple yet quite fun, thanks to my hommies). My first Dean's List achievement. My first time participating in performing arts, a musical. Had an extraordinary experience at MIRACLE Youth Conference 2008, and many other new experiences.

- was a socially and emotionally turbulent year. Had many ups and down when it came to relationships and friendship, family and friends. Got tired of staying at home, hearing my mum nag and boss, but I'm loving and appreciating my parents and family more and more. Contented with friends I have around me, but constantly hoping for better. Got more freedom than I used to, but there's less people and less activities than there used to be. Often find myself alone voluntarily and willingly, but just as often as I find myself laughing and smiling in a happy crowd. Missing the warmth of a romantic and intimate relationship yet trying to enjoy the freedom and absent-mindedness of being single.

- is a year with no regrets.

- generally a good year.

All that being said, yet another year has passed. I now look foward to hopefully yet another good year and god willing it'll be a great year ahead. There are somethings I really hope to achieve this year. So I guess the following are as close as I can get to planning out my new year's resolutions.

In 2009 I will:
1) Maintain a GPA of 3.5 and above, achieve a CGPA of 3.5 and above, remain a Dean's List student and hopefully as one of the top scorers.
2) Appreciate my family and friends more. Try and establish more concrete and deep bonds between my friends. Make new friends and meet new people who help make me a better person.
3) Do something outstanding. Something new and exciting.
4) Remain an active member of the UiTM society yet balancing all my co-curricular activities with my curricular affairs.
5) GET A PHYSIQUE WORTH DROOLING OVER (or maybe just enough to make everyone look with amazement)
6) Live healthily.
7) Take life as it comes, learn from the past, anticipate the future, but live in the present. No more day dreaming of what could be or could've been, nor would be. Only of what IS.
8) Help more people, be a better samaritan, be more courteous, be wiser, try and be a better person.
9) ATTEMPT to get back on the path of light, the path to God's Kingdom.
10) Smile more, laugh more and try to have more fun.

There are more small things I'd like to achieve in the year ahead. But hey, its gonna be a long year. Things change, people change, everything changes over time one way or another. I just hope that the bad things change to good, good things change to better, better things change to the best things ever. To all my friends and readers, I wish all of you a HAPPY 2009, may you have a great year. God Bless. As always, thank you for viewing. Peace.

Friends

2008-12-29T22:43:00.000-08:00

Dear readers, as told earlier I will face difficulties blogging again due to my new semester starting. The past week I've been busy with last minute household affairs, social affairs, and basically preparing for college life again. Only this time, I'm not staying on campus anymore. For the first time I'm staying in a house with just peers. The house is shabby, creaky, and most of all, WOODEN. Yes, wooden. But despite the condition of the house, its who fills the house that matters most to me. I'm contented with the bunch I will be staying with in this squatters like house. They're my classmates from last semester, my clicks in UiTM here. They're a rather crazy and noisy, but fun crowd. Its rarely a boring day with these guys. Although they appeal quite a lot to me, I honestly haven't considered them as people I'd call good friends yet. I do compare them with the people back in KL whom I DO call friends and I find that both groups are completely different, yet they are kind of similar in some ways. Which brings me to this entry.

You know those TV series like FRIENDS, DAWSON's CREEK, ONE TREE HILL, and THE OC? Well, I grew up watching those kinda stuff. The shows are very interesting, so are the cast, as well as the settings in it, but you know what captivates me the most in these shows? The chemistry between the characters. I'm captivated by the bond they have between them. Like, they're world seems so small because its just the few of them, the same faces all the time. They know almost everything about each other, they're always hanging out together and they care about each other. No matter what the situation is, fun, crazy, adventurous, sad, angry, serious, relaxed, they are somehow always together, or at least they know whats going on between each other regardless of how each situation affects each person. I'm not sure if that's what's defined as a great friendship, but to me, I see that as an amazing friendship. I've actually came across people who have that kind of friendship. People with friends who they can talk to always no matter about what, and be completely honest with each other no matter what the outcome, they're always together or close one way or another. Not even distance, nor time, nor any other circumstance can break their friendship. I've seen such thing. It does exist. And I envy it.

Through my lifetime so far, I've had many friends, and even more acquaintances. I'm generally a very social and friendly person, so making new friends and meeting new people comes quite easily to me. But the hard part for me is finding friends worthy of calling great friends. I only realized this shortly after leaving high school after Form 5. When I was in school, I had the comfort of great friends everyday, good or bad, rain or shine. That's mainly due to the fact we ALL were in school almost everyday. But right after leaving school, things changed. Distance became a major barrier, status and wealth intervened, social interests came between us, and many other reasons. My circle or friends shrank drastically. Now, I still have a few close friends whom I've known quite long and I'm still making new friends. But I feel, I have even fewer good friends, amazing friends. I'm not saying I don't have good friends, I do, but fewer than you may think or know. Its actually kind of depressing thinking of it, moreover when I'm on holiday having too much time to think (I actually thought of this entry quite sometime ago during my hols). I mean, I have friends I really enjoy hanging out with, being with and all, but I realized I don't know much about them, neither do I share much thoughts with them. My friendship with them is actually kind of shallow, barely scratches the surface. That's what lead me to say that my friends here in UiTM, and my friends back in KL, are very different, yet they are quite similar. My clicks in KL all speak English, come from quite well off families, and have more costly social interests. My clicks in UiTM mostly speak Bahasa Malaysia, come from not so well off families, and have less costly social interests. But despite the differences, I really enjoy hanging out with all of them (both groups of clicks). I love being with them, I cherish moments we share, and its great having them as friends. My clicks also are similar in the sense that, as much as I love hanging out with them, I barely know anything about them, and I don't have much deep conversations with them.

When it comes to this problem of mine, I often wonder why it is so. Why is it that I can't have more amazing friends? Why is it that I want to care about them but I feel they don't care about me? Why don't I know much about them? With those questions, I also came up with some possible answers. Maybe they're not good enough to be my great friends. Maybe I'M not good anough to be THEIR great friend. Maybe I'm too picky. Maybe I'm not putting in the effort required to develop a great friendship. Maybe I'm afraid. I once discussed what's my greatest fear with a great friend of mine. My greatest fear is being alone. REALLY alone. Like the only human left on the Earth kind of alone. I realize this fear comes from my psychological need to interact with people. If I were Tom Hanks in cast away, I'd go bonkers by the day after I got washed ashore. The irony now is, although I have quite many friends, I still feel kind of alone.

A friend once asked me,
"what do you feel you need most in your life right now?"
I answered,
"more good friends..."

I'm still kind of young, and I still feel there's a chance I can have amazing friends like those in FRIENDS, Dawson's Creek, etc. But until then, I will envy those TV friendships. To my great friends, thank you so much for being there for me all those times.

Places of Me

2008-12-17T05:50:00.000-08:00

Dear avid readers, I've got like about two weeks left before I go back to Penang and shall face difficulties blogging again. So I must take what little time I have left to blog randomly and get out as much brain waste as I can while I'm still in holiday mood. Moving on to what I want to get out in this particular entry, I was in the Kota Raya area last week on my way home after a gathering. It was kinda early to go home (4pm) so I decided to take a good walk down memory lane. As I walked, I passed through the places where I used to go. Every step I took, a memory appeared in my mind. Its beautiful. How wonderful were those days where I walked this same path almost everyday. The memories so abundant, its breathtaking. The walk that day inspired me to produce this entry. The following are locations (not just in Kota Raya but others as well) that have significant places deep inside my heart, which a few have some remarks on. I just feel like immortalizing these places, not only in my head but here as well. For those of you who were with me through all these place, at all those times, I assure you this is the most sentimental entry so far.

Places Of Me

Victoria Institution - my high school, the place where I stepped in a boy, stepped out a man. The place where I spent almost 7 years of my life. The place who made me who I am today. Too much can be said just about this place.
Stadium Negara - used to have an awesome food court, with heavenly burgers, and awesome drinks. Cincau Susu Satu! was a great place to hang out after school.
Hang Tuah LRT station
San Peng area - 7-eleven, Guan Kee, mamak near maybank, Kelantan.
Olympic 98
BORMAS at Jalan Maharajalela.
Jalan Hang Jebat - the road which has SJK(c) Davidson, MBS, Confucion, MABA, mamak near parking lot, and BP House.
Petaling Street
McDonald's beside the overhead bridge at Petaling Street.
Shin Kee Beef Noodle Specialist - the best beef ball noodles ever.
Kota Raya area - KFC, Nam Heong, Arcade at Kota Raya shopping complex (DAYTONA, S&M complex.
McDonald's near MYDIN
McDonald's at UDA Ocean
HAMEED's at Pasar Seni
7-Eleven across the rode from UDA Ocean
KASTURI - the most memorable tuition centre in my life, did almost everything but study everytime attended classes there.
POPULAR bookstore.
Central Market
McDonald's beside Central Market
Masjid Jamek area - LRT, McDonalds, Burger King, Secret Recipe.
Convent Bukit Nenas - A major part of my love-life.
St. John's Intitution
Jalan Imbi - the walks from school to Bukit Bintang. All sweet memories.
Low Yat Plaza - E-Zone, Brewball, computer haven, loads of eye-washing.
Sungei Wang Plaza - Cosmic Bowl (now funky Lala Zone on top floor), McDonalds, KFC, loads and loads of eye-washing, DAYTONA, Jun Saito.
Times Square
JW Marriot - Interact Career Exposure Field Trip (2004), SBU & VI Prom Night 2005
Mid Valley Megamall
Sri Petaling LRT Station

Besides these sentimentally sacred locations, there are also many other sentimentally significant locations during my high school years. But these featured locations have a more significant appeal because I've been through these places more than once, very often in fact. I hope that these locations will forever stay the way they are, as the way they'll forever stay in my heart (wipes away metaphorical tear). Some people have said that High School is when you spend the best years of your life. For me, I believe that's true so far.

Girl Talk

2008-12-12T05:34:00.000-08:00

Good Day, class. My name is Mr. Iylia Kamal and I will be teaching you Iylia's Girl Talk. This subject is rather subjective and often varies depending on other people's perceptions and opinions. Regardless of that, these are interesting information that you may find useful someday. In today's lesson, we'll be discussing some of the common terms used by Iylia to categorize females based on their physical appearances. Generally, males are visually oriented creatures, therefore to most guys, females' physical appearance matters a lot and usually comes first in their criteria when searching for potential mates. So to the females, the next time a male says looks don't matter, take it with a pinch of salt. I'm not saying don't trust them, but make them prove it if you believe so. The following terms come along with their definitions and remarks for each respectively according to Iylia.

1. HOT
- Attractive. Could be referring to sexy (refer to 3. SEXY), or pretty (refer to 2. PRETTY). Could be referring to face only, body only, face and body, certain gestures, or even dressing.
- Usually used with a certain degree of sexual arousal, depending on level of hotness of the subject, or, the tone and/or expression that comes along with the usage of the term.
- The most general and most common term used by Iylia. Usually used without being asked if an attractive subject is in sight.

2. PRETTY
- Attractive face.
- Usually used with no sexual arousal, but more of impressed and pleased.
- A very specific term. Often used when giving an opinion after being asked, or when an attractive subject is evaluated.
- Synonymous with beautiful.

3. SEXY
- Visually provocative or physically suggestive. Could be referring to dressing or gestures.
- Used with much sexual arousal.
- A specific term. Often used to emphasize on the sexual appeal of a subject.

4. SWEET
- Attractive but with an innocent looking, girly appeal. Could be referring to face or gestures.
- Usually used with no sexual arousal.
- A specific term. May be at par with pretty when referring to face only. Often used when giving an opinion after being asked, or when an attractive subject is evaluated.

5. CUTE
- Acceptably attractive. Could refer to face, body (usually size) , or gestures.
- Usually used with no sexual arousal.
- A less specific term. Not pretty, or sweet, but NOT UGLY either when referring to face. Something in between. Often used when giving an opinion after being asked, or when an attractive subject is evaluated.

6. GORGEOUS
- Attractive. Usually referring to face and dressing.
- Usually used with no sexual arousal.
- A specific term. Used when evaluating a subject. Often used when giving an opinion after being asked, or when an attractive subject is evaluated.
- Synonymous to elegant.

7. FUCKABLE
- Attractive body and face. Usually refers to body first, then face. Sometimes just body.
- Used with much sexual arousal.
- A less specific term. Used only when a subject is evaluated among guys (to avoid any offense).

These terms are usually accompanied with certain adjectives to stress on the level of attractiveness or appeal. The adjectives are, in order of significance :

Whoa
- The highest level of significance, flawless and goddess like, rare, usually leaves Iylia speechless.
Damn Fucking
Fucking
Very
Quite

To elaborate on the differences between some of the terms, in my personal opinion, almost any girl can be hot. Being a very general term, hot is very easy to achieve, keep fit, dress great, do attractive gestures, and presto almost any girl can be hot. The same goes to sexy also. Sexy is also something that's do-able or can be modified. Show some skin, do suggestive or provocative gestures, wallah! u got sexy. Fuckable....well.....you think for yourself lah, class.

For pretty, and sweet, these two are physical attractiveness that come naturally. Either you're born with it or not. Not everyone is born pretty or sweet. Pretty and sweet usually cannot be made or modified. Regarding that, FAKE IS UGLY. Pretty and sweet are gifts from God. With these two terms, gorgeous sometimes comes along with it. Gorgeous usually is a combination of a pretty or sweet face and awesome dressing. So in a way, gorgeous is more significant than pretty and sweet, and yet without pretty and sweet, there usually is no gorgeous. Like pretty and sweet, gorgeous is also a gift from God because its the combination of beautiful looks and beautiful taste.

So class, when you all come across the terms, HOT, SEXY, CUTE, or FUCKABLE, that's good, but when you all encounter the terms PRETTY, SWEET, or GORGEOUS, that's much better.
And if you don't hear any of these terms...well.....you're probably not detected on the radar. That's putting it nicely.

KRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

Wops! There goes the bell. That will be all for today's lesson. Thank you, Class.

THANK YOU, MR.IYLIA!!!! (I wish)

Player

2008-12-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

"gosh Iylia you're so sweet I could just eat you....
but I don't think I'd ever date you.....
you're too sweet I'd have a hard time trusting everything you say"
- Anonymous.

"you're such a Casanova.....
yeah rite you're not a Casanova...
you're such a sweet talker la, sure you sweet talk all girls"
- an ex-girlfriend (while she was still with me).

"really? you sure ah?....can trust wan onot?...
hmmm...cannot trust you...your mulut too manis edy" - a dear friend of mine.

Greetings readers, to fill your curiosity, these statements are actually true occurrences I've encountered before. Those who believe these, good for you, those who don't, go f**k yourself. Anyway, I'm taking this opportunity to express my feelings towards a certain subject that has bugged me for quite a while now. People say I, Iylia Kamal, am a PLAYER. What the f**k is that actually supposed to mean? I asked a few girls who called me a player on what they define as a PLAYER, one of the responses were as such;

"erm...I dunno...a guy who plays with girls feelings and emotions I guess"
- Anonymous

According to reliable sources, Player is defined as:
play-er (noun);
1. One that plays, especially:
a) one who participates in a game or sport
b) a gambler
c) one who performs in theatrical roles
d) one who playes a musical instrument
2. An active participant
3. The mechanism actuating a player piano
4. A machine that reproduces recorded audio or audio-visual material
5. Slang ONE WHO ACTIVELY SEEKS OUT SEXUAL PARTNERS AND CARRIES ON A NUMBER OF SEXUAL AFFAIRS AT THE SAME TIME

just to emphasize on the most common definition of society towards the term Player;
1. Slang a person engaged in illicit or illegal activity, esp. a pimp
2. Slang a person who pursues a number of different social and sexual partners simultaneously

Based on the information, I personally feel I fit only the definition of one who performs in theatrical roles. The problem is, I've been getting "Iylia-is-a-Player" shit too many times. I mean, many guys would be proud to be called a Player, maybe because its a symbol of machismo or masculinity. But not me. I don't think there's anything great about being able to tell a girl sweet things, things girls want to hear, treating girls lavishly with treats and gifts, taking them to places they've never been, in simple terms, IMPRESSING THE LADIES, just for the sole purpose of getting into their pants. No doubt there are many "wolves" out there who are hailed by their "pack" every time they score some poontang, but habits or activities like this are usually beneficial on the dick side only. On the other side, females everywhere are gathering more and more awareness and hatred towards these "wolves". This leads to females in general being very defensive when guys compliment them, or treat them, or impress them in any way. Leaving good, sincere guys to the mercy of women's general perception towards men, which often makes the job to gain they're trust so much harder then it should be.

Okay, I admit I sometimes even impress myself with what I tell girls, but I rarely say things I don't mean. For example, I've sincerely complimented girls that I find attractive with sweet words, only to be shot down as a prawn-behind-rock act. Being called sweet talker I can bluntly accept, but being called a Player for sincerely complimenting an attractive girl is a real turn off. This is what Players have done to our society. This breed of bastardic beings make men in general, look and sound bad. Although they are a small amount, the Malay proverb;

"seekor lembu terkena tahi, semua lembu tercalit"
(one cow smeared with shit, gets the rest of the cows smeared with shit also)

really applies. It is in my personal nature to compliment girls with sweet words, its just the way I am I guess, some have said its a gift if you may, but when I say it, I usually mean it, with no intentions nor expectations from it. The sad thing is, some wolves have used their gift for negative intentions and personal gain, impressing their prey, manipulating their prey's feelings, getting their prey wrapped around their fingers, finally taking what they've been looking for, and once they've had enough, dispose of their prey like a used tissue, leaving their victims scarred for a long time (in some cases maybe for life), leading to long term distrust of men in future who attempt to get close to them, regardless of intention.

I can do nothing but sigh when my honest comments and sincere compliments are regarded as fake or "with intentions". I am not trying to make myself sound so righteous by condemning these Players, I do personally envy them for being able to get any girl they want when they want (a privilege most guys would want). But these players who go around leaving negative trails behind them is something I just don't agree with or support. So I'd also like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize to the female population, especially those who have been victims to Players, on behalf of the male population, especially those good guys who are not Players but are being punished for the acts of a few bad apples. Sorry to all you ladies.

And to all you Players out there, keep up your game, and hope Karma don't come around hitting you, because I hope it hits you all hard. F**king hard. Thanks for viewing!

Out Of Reach

2008-12-05T20:30:00.000-08:00

I hear your voice,
I see your smile,
Your voice so sweet,
Your smile so warm,

I'm taken away every time I hear you,
I'm blown away every time I see you,
You're beautiful is all I can say about you,
I'm amazed by you.

But amazed is all I can be,
Dreaming is all I can do,
Because you are out of reach for me,
And I know there will never be Me and You.

Separated by to different worlds,
Yours fantasy, mine reality,
But thoughts of you are still wonderful beyond words,
The out of reach, angel on the tele.

5 DECEMBER 2008

IYLIA'S TOP 10 HOTTEST FEMALE CELEBRITIES UNDER 25 2008

2008-12-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome, to Iylia's Top 10 Hottest Female Celebrities Under 25 2008. The following line up is the product of intensive research, strenuous observation, and ample amount of boredom as well as free time. I personally have never thought coming up with such a nonsense list would be so tough, but trust me, coming up with only 10 favorites out of thousands is not easy. Without further ado, I present to you Iylia's Top 10 Hottest Female Celebrities Under 25 2008. By the way, I purposely arranged them into countdown form from 10 to 1 just for the suspense factor. ehem. enjoy.

10. KRISTEN STEWART

Aged 19, born 1990, best known for her role as Isabella Swan in the latest 2008 vampire romance flick "Twilight". On a side note, Twilight is a damn nice movie. I wouldn't mind paying to watch it again.

9. KATHARINE MCPHEE

Aged 24, born 1984, best known for being runner-up on fifth season of American Idol in 2006. She's an American pop and R&B singer, actress and model.

8. TAYLOR SWIFT

Aged 19, born 1989, best known for her love song "Teardrops On My Guitar". Most of her songs are based on real-life personal experiences of love.

7. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG

Aged 23, born 1985, best known for her role as Dawn Summers in Buffy The Vampire Slayer (2000-2003), and as Jenny in the teen comedy Eurotrip (2004). Her father is German while her mother is Russian.

6. HAYDEN PANETTIERE

Aged 19, born 1989, best known for her role as Claire Bennet in the hit series Heroes.

5. MEGAN FOX

Aged 22, born 1986, best known for her rols as Mikaela Banes in the 2007 box office hit Transformers. She is of Irish, French, and Native American ancestry.

4. HILARY DUFF

Aged 21, born 1987, best known for her role as Lizzie McGuire in the Disney Channel Original Series Lizzie McGuire.

3. VANESSA HUDGENS

Aged 20, born 1988, best known for her role as Gabriella Montez in the Disney's hit production High School Musical trilogy. Her father is an American of Irish and Native American descent, and her mother is a Filipino-born of Filipino, Spanish and Chinese descent.

2. CASSANDRA "CASSIE" VENTURA

Aged 22, born 1986, best known for her hit single "Me & You" from her debut album "Cassie" (2006). She was born in America to a Filipino father and a West Indian/ Mexico American mother.

And finally, the crown and title of Miss Iylia's Hottest Female Celebrity Under 25 goes to:
(drum role)

SELENA GOMEZ

Aged 16, born 1992, best known for her role as Alex Russo in Wizards of Waverly Place. She's the only child to a Mexican father and a half Italian mother.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, Iylia's Top 10 Hottest Female Celebrities Under 25 2008. Besides the ladies on this list, there are also a few who missed being on the list by just a bit. I personally feel like giving them some limelight as well.

EMMA ROBERTS

17, born 1991

KEIRA KNIGHTLY

23, born 1985

SCARLETT JOHANSSON

24, born 1984.

And that's the end of yet another nonsense list by Iylia Kamal.
Only at iyliazbrainwaste.blogspot.com. Thanks for viewing.
Now go find something better to do.

Frozen

2008-11-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

How do I put into words?
The way you make me feel,
There you are,
Right in front of my eyes.

As sweet as bee's honey,
As warm as the morning light,
Yet inside I feel,
As bitter as medicine,
As cold as a winter breeze.

Like an axe,
Hacking into ice,
The ice that covers my heart,
When you left me frozen,
Frozen from the absence of warmth,
That once I felt before.

My frozen heart takes a strike,
At every way you intrude me,
The sight of you to my eyes,
The sound of you to my ears,
The very thought of you to my mind.

What bewilders me,
Is that no matter how much,
Hacking and strikes I take,
Frozen as my heart is,
It still feels the warmth,
Of a time before it was frozen.

20 OCTOBER 2008

Looking Back To Move Forward

2008-11-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

Dear avid readers (or in the case of my blog, I've-got-nothing-better-to-do-but-I-pity-this-dude-so-I'll-check-out-his-blog readers), I'm finally over with my first semester of Hotel Management. Its been good (whether its been great or not depends on my results). Its wonderful to be home, catching up with family and friends. Ah, how nice. But with long holidays, also comes this small problem that I've always encountered whenever holidays come. HAVING TOO MUCH TIME TO SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING BUT THINK AND DAY DREAM.
Yes, I have a chronic tendency to think way too much if I'm idle. So within these first few days of my hols this time, my wandering mind has brought me to quite a sensitive area in my head....and heart. MY LOVE LIFE.

The following are brief stories on the few girls who have played a major role in my love life.
(Reader discretion is advised)

JOANNE NG

Joanne Ng (left), Jessy Long (right).

Year 2003, was the year I started attending tuition classes at Kasturi (godbless that place, so many memories). After classes, I went home by LRT as most kids did. One day after tuition, I was in the LRT and I saw this beautiful creature in the same carriage as me. Complexion as fair as snow, with a smile as warm as the morning light. I was completely taken by the this girl. But being the shy 15 year old I was, of course I didn't even think of approaching her at 1st. I stole glances at her as many times as my human eyes could, wondering how long was I to be blessed by the sight of her. Imagine how thrilled I was to discover she stopped at the very same station as me! I stared at her from afar, making the best of every moment, thinking this was a one-time experience. Her ride soon came, and she went off. That was when I 1st met her. The next week, the same thing happened again! Since then, I looked fwd to every day I had tuition just to see her. It was sorta like the highlight of the week for me then. After a few weeks of just stealing glances, staring from afar, and thinking of what could I possibly say to her if I were to walk up to her (It was bladdy hard for me at that time), one day, I finally decided to make my move. She was at the middle of the carriage, I took a deep breathe and started to walk towards her. The sight of her looking at me while I walked her way just made me a whole lot more nervous. I stood in front of her, smiled shyly, and said..."hi". To my delight, "hi" she replied. "We stop at the same station eh?", "uh-huh", "cool","you go to kasturi oso right?", "yeah (smile)", "er, sorry I haven't even introduced myself, my name's Iylia. What's your name?", (smile) "Joanne", "Nice name. Whew (wipes the dripping sweat from my forehead), sorry. I'm actually very nervous. Been wanting to talk to to you for sometime already. haha. (wipes sweat again). That just now actually wasn't easy, to talk to a girl like you","(giggle) girl like me?", "yeah la. ure very pretty (wipes sweat yet again)",(giggle summore) what la you". and the conversation continued. From that day on, every week, we'd ride the LRT together. We got to know each other, talked a lot when we met, and even on the phone soon after wards. I was liking this girl more n more every time we communicated. Time passed, we got closer (or so I thought). After a few months, of hiding my feelings, I finally decided to ask her if we could be more than friends, I guess I wasn't quite ready for her answer. I was lucky enough we stayed friends after she gently turned me down. My crush stretched over more than a year. Having all the symptoms of a boy in love. The 1st girl, I made a bday card for, walked from VI to CBN for (just to surprise her), and wrote a poem for. But yeah, it just wasnt meant to be. Despite that, she undeniably affected me alot,emotionally, for a long time.

HEART FACTOR: 4 HEARTS

Samantha Carmen Fernandez
(no picture available)

Year 2004, turning 16, hormones raging, ego rising. After being stuck for so long in a one-sided crush, I thought I'd give up on girls. Just when I started to give up, my friends were getting girl friends one-by-one, as if it were a trend. With the deadly combination of raging hormones and a rising ego, i felt desperate and left out. One day, I went for an interact club field trip with some other schools. During the trip, this girl caught my eye. The way she looked at me at the corner of her eye as she past by me was a hard hit. I attempted to stick close enough to her to analyze her through out the trip. At the end of the trip, I planned to approach her. I somehow lost sight of her. The next thing I knew, she was boarding the other bus, not the one I was riding. I thought I blew the chance. Suddenly, before she stepped up on the bus, she looked my way and smiled (yet another hard hit). I knew I had to get to know this girl. I hoped very much to see her again. When the buses reached our rally point, I hurried to look for her. To my luck she was there, walking away. I ran up to her and spontaneously opened a random convo. Managed to get her name, Ms. Samantha Carmen Fernandez. Beautiful name I thought. She was heading in a different direction as I was and in a bit of a hurry,so I let her go. I felt like an idiot when I realized I only got her name but not her number! For the next few days, I grumbled a bit over my lost chance. Suddenly one day, I received a message from Samantha. Apparently, she managed to get my number somehow. That's where it started. Two weeks after that 1st msg, we got together. She was an Eurasian, Portuguese mix with Chinese. She was the 1st girl I called my girlfriend, the first girl I sang for, the 1st girl i went out on a date with, the 1st girl I held hands with (as a girlfriend), and the 1st girl I kissed on the forehead. Things started of well for us. But after just two months, things weren't as they were before and we broke up. No regrets, but instead full of appreciation for a not bad 1st experience.

HEART FACTOR: 3 HEARTS

Lyeanna Muniera

Lilian(left), Lyeanna (right)

End of 2004, I was getting very active with INTERACT CLUB. Being the president, I usually was the one to receive invitation letters to attend other school's interact club functions. One day, I received a message through my friendster from a girl name Lyeanna(actual spelling Liyana, but I love this spelling). If the name wasn't beautiful enough, the sender herself was a Goddess. I was completely blown away by her beauty. She had a smile that could melt butter! I was overwhelmed like never before. She was so gorgeous to me. So gorgeous she even got my big bro's attention, saying, "hoho! who's this?? Fucker, you don't want I take wei." Her message was an invitation to her Interact Club Installation. Determined to meet this bombshell, I knew I had to go for this function. On the much awaited day, there she was, MC for the event. Whoa, Vice President for CBN interact club, MC for the event, and beautiful? She must be really something. I stayed through out the show, hoping to get a chance to talk to Lyeanna, but she was too busy. So I left the show with only sights of her. I somehow managed to start chatting with her through friendster, msn, and finally phone. We communicated quite alot, even managed to meet her again and talk to her once after her installation. At the end of the year (December), there was the INTERACT DISTRICT CONFERENCE 2004. I was thrilled to know she was going to attend it as well. At the conference, I was so blessed to be in the same group as her! I felt as if the heavens set us up.On the 1st night of the conference, there were some boring talks. I felt like getting out. I braved myself to ask Lyeanna if she wanted to go for a walk. To my delight, she agreed! We walked slowly around the resort, walking closer and closer to each other with every step. Finally, we came to a fountain. We sat there, talked, watched over by the night sky, accompanied by the stars, with the moonlight illuminating her heavenly beauty before me. It was by far, the most romantic moment of my life. From that night, I was officially crazy over this girl. The next few days of the conference, I was smiling around for no reason like a kid high on crack. I was intoxicated by infatuation. I couldn't get her off my mind.

A couple of days after the conference, and after lots of thought, I called her for a long chat. I asked her, "liyana, will you take the next step with me?". And with that, I had a goddess for a girlfriend. I was really so truly, madly, deeply, in love with this girl. She was a school prefect, Interact Vice President, a trained Tap Dancer, sweet, fun, mixed Malay Chinese and most all, drop dead gorgeous. She was the 1st girl I wrote(typed) a love letter for, the 1st girl I bought roses for, the first girl I hugged, the 1st girl I kissed on the lips, the 1st girl who I cuddled with during movies(the sight of her wrapped around my arm, with her head on my shoulder, looking up at me with so much love is still so clear even till today), the 1st girl whom I met her parents, the girl who I got into the most trouble for, the first girl I really cried for,the 1st girl who made me regret letting go. We lasted 9 months. But they were beautiful 9 months to me.

HEART FACTOR: 5 HEARTS

Aeryfah Ariffin Hew

Arifah (left), Yusnie (right)

End of year 2004, I was at this Interact Installation (note: Interact Installation, end of 2004, ehem). Attending the function for the main purpose of actually meeting someone I anxiously wanted to meet, instead of meeting the person I went to the function for, I met another lovely girl instead. She was just one of the sweetest mix-Malay-Chinese girls when I first met her. We started to be friends when she 1st messaged me. Since then, we communicated a whole lot. We had awesome chemistry cos our conversations were always so packed and non stop with topics. She made me feel like I had the most awesome friend who's a girl (not girlfriend). Something I never expected to have. But the amazing chemistry we had just as friends was too good to be true. I eventually found out that she liked me, a lot. At some points, she even confessed it to me a few times. Unfortunately, I was truly, madly, deeply, in love with someone else at that time. Knowing it could be dangerous, I still I continued being friends with her despite knowing her feelings for me. She was defenitly a great friend. Whenever I was down, she was there. Whenever I had probs wit my gf, she was there. Whenever I felt like giving up on my relationship, she convinced me to hold on (despite her feelings for me). Our friendship was on the same course as my relationship wit my gf. At one point, things between me and my gf got too sour (mostly due to my friendship with Arifah and other insecurities). I finally let my gf go, not because I did not love her anymore, but because she did not trust me anymore and the guilt inside me was killing me. I also broke up, with the faith that I'd still have an awesome gal friend as company and eventually we chould share feelings for each other. But alas, shit happened. The opportunity for Arifah came abit too late. By the time I was available for her, she had given up hope on being more than friends with me. No gf, no best gal-friend. Alone. I often think of myself as the dog and its reflection. Having a goddess for a gf, but still wanting another Angel for company. One of the biggest mistakes in my love life. 2005 ended miserably.

HEART FACTOR: 4 HEARTS

Onnalin Suwannee Prongprakyun

Suwannee (left), ME (right)

Year 2003, I was 1 out of the only 2 Form 3 VI interactors to attend Interact District Conference 2003. There I met this awesomely hot girl. Fun, cheerful, friendly, all wrapped up in a Siamese bombshell of a package, with icing on it. Started as friends, became very close, became pet bro and sis. It was completely awesome having a pet sis like her considering I never had an elder sister. We were bro and sis for a couple of years. Things started to get complicated end of 2006. We were catching up alot after almost a year not keeping in touch. We talked alot about personal stuff. Somehow in the conversation we revealed the crushes we had on each other long ago but it didn't affect the bro sis relationship at 1st. When she came back to Malaysia from Australia for holidays, we went on a date, and the bro-sis relationship was upgraded to bf-gf. She was a very "enlightening and new" experience for me. Anyway, after only a month of havin her around, she had to return to Australia for studies. Within a week of her being away, I realized, love wasn't the thing that started this relationship. In fact, the relationship was more of a product of lust, desperation, obligation, and guilt, than love.I couldn't take lying to myself and her anymore. We lasted less than a month. I had more chemistry with her as, and missed her more as a petbro. I ruined it all by getting with someone I didn't love as a partner. It was a guiltful experience. The biggest mistake in my love life ever, being with someone I didn't love. I still miss my petsis till today.

HEART FACTOR: 2 HEARTS

Angeline Tan

End of 2006, I was one of the most tak-sedar-diri guys to attend Interact District Conference 2006, considering I was no longer an Interact member technically. But my memories of awesome times at IDCs, my thirst for a great holiday, and my supportive juniors led me to going for it anyway. There I met one of the sweetest looking girls in my life. She looked like a pretty hamster. We got to know each other over the 3 days 2 nights at the IDC06. We became friends over the time but not very close. In mid 2007, she had a major crush on one of my juniors. Because I knew them both, I had to be middle man for their affairs sometimes. One night, I was chattting with Angeline and somehow that conversation led to a long phone call. Next thing I knew, we were close. We talked more and more and became closer. I wasn't sure about my feelings for her, but her feelings for me were put for show when she gave me a box of 180 over handmade cards for my birthday. Supposedly, a card be taken out every two days for me to write some happy thought. I was overwhelmed. I was speechless. I have never EVER had a girl do such a thing even close to what she did, nor have I ever received a gift like that before. I fell for her. A few days after my bday, we got together. Things were beautiful the first few months. Even when she started college I still loved her full with affection. But eventually, her college lifestyle came between us. She couldn't stand me being so overprotective and nosy, I couldn't stand her neglecting me and her new attitude. After 9 months we broke up. No doubt we shared so many magical and memorable moments. The 1st Chinese girlfriend, 1st girl to make me a gift instead of me making her one, 1st girl to have a date at a park with, 1st girlfriend to come to my house, 1st girlfriend to meet my family, 1st girlfriend in my room, 1st girlfriend I went to Bird Park with, and many more firsts. It was wonderful being with her. Wished it could've lasted longer.

HEART FACTOR: 5 HEARTS

To the names I've mentioned here, if you ever somehow are reading this, I just want to apologize for everything I may or may not have done, I'm sorry for ever hurting you, and I'm sorry things couldn't work out. I do wanna thank you so much and so sincerely for ever being with me. You helped make me who I am today, and you will always be a part of me.
Thank You.

For the record, there are also a few girls I've had crushes on but if I were to include those, there would be too much to write. Plus they were not as serious as compared to the featured stories. Regardless of significance, I'd even like to thank those few girls I had crushes on as well (if you think you know who you are than good lah, if you don't know, don't be so-full-of-yourself) Btw, I'm currently single and enjoying my life. So for those of you girls who's names are NOT mentioned here, and these stories intrigue you or you can relate to them, I am available for whatever business brings you to be interested in meeting me. ehem. Forgive my blind confidence. Last but not least I'd like to congratulate YOU, the reader, for making it this far in reading the longest blog entry in iyliazbrainwatse so far. Do anticipate my next entry, and thanks for viewing!

Clueless

2008-11-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

My ears hear your name,
My heart hears a wonderful sound.

My eyes see your smile,
My heart sees a beautiful angel.

My body feels weak,
My heart feels strong.

My mind feels clouded,
My heart feels clear.

All these things happen to me,
So affected I am by you,
Doesn't it show?
Yet so clueless you are.

Like the air we breathe,
Like the water we drink,
Like the Sun and Moon,
Like the Sky and Earth,
All in plain sight,
So affected we are by them,
Doesn't it show?
Yet so clueless we are,
The same way I feel,
How clueless you are.

Why can't you read me?
All the signs i show,
Is it that hard to see?
I want so much for you to know,
How clueless can you be?
The way you make me feel so low,
So long this has happened,
So clueless you still are.

16 October 2008.

Randomness

2008-11-02T01:24:00.000-07:00

Here are some lines from some songs that really appeal to me lately:

"If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?" - Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol.
"All that I am, all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see" - Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol.
"The perfect words never crossed my mind, cos there was nothing there but you" - Signal Fire, Snow Patrol.
"I was born to tell you I love you" - Vulnerable, Secondhand Serenade.
"Tell me, tell me what makes you think that you are invincible. I can see it in your eyes you're just so sure. Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's Vulnerable" - Vulnerable, Secondhand Serenade.
"Your smile makes me see clearer. If you could only see in the mirror what I see" - Vulnerable, Secondhand Serenade.
"All I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life" - Iris, Goo Goo Dolls.
"There's a million reasons for you to go, but if you could find a reason to stay, I'd do whatever it takes" - Whatever It Takes, Lifehouse.
"You don't know how lovely you are" - The Scientist, Coldplay.
The whole lyrics for Fall For You, Secondhand Serenade.

Btw, SEPI is an awesome movie. Beats the crap out of Sepet.
Yes people....I watched SEPI.
Will tell more when inspiration on how to tell the story comes,
but for now....i really like these songs.

Clouds

2008-11-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

Bright is the sun,
Cool is the wind,
Clear are the skies,
Beautiful are the clouds.

Clouds how wondrous they are,
Sometimes white, soft, and soothing,
Sometimes dark, harsh and frightening,
At times they bring inspiration,
And at times they bring destruction.

Like clear skies our minds are,
Constantly filled with wondrous clouds,
Sometimes clean, helpful, and pleasing,
Sometimes dirty, awful, and disturbing,
But still,
At times they bring inspiration,
And at times they bring destruction.

Clouds,
How wondrous they are,
Clear skies,
Clear minds,
Though so beautiful,
Without clouds,
So empty they would be.

15 October 2008

Fragile Creatures

2008-10-16T20:27:00.000-07:00

A broken heart,
A wounded knee,
Such fragile creatures,
Human we are.

A clouded mind,
A twisted finger,
Such fragile creatures,
Human we are.

Like glass be shattered,
Like mirrors be broken,
Such fragile creatures,
Human we're made.

Broken hearts be mended,
Wounded knees be healed,
Clouded minds be cleared,
Twisted fingers be treated,
Though so fragile we are,
Human we still remain.

14 October 2008

What a Blogger.

2008-10-16T20:06:00.000-07:00

My dear avid readers, my million apologies to you all for my oh so long absence.
For you see, internet connection here is a rare commodity, and so is inspiration. I say inspiration here is scarce because I do not intend to fill my blog with "ZOMG! today i like...went to the mall....and like...i saw this new bag...and like i so wanted it...but like...i forgot my purse....so i blablabla.."

And thus i shall begin my latest entry, as inspiration flows through my mind like the thundering waters of the Niagra Falls.

I AM A NEW PERSON.

My life in this once feared scenario, is now at peace or at least its easier. No longer am I grumbling of loneliness and misery, for i am now content. Content with the place i call my second home now (my hostel), content with my new family (my classmates), content with my duties (DRAMA SOCIETY, DEBATE SOCIETY, E BUDDYZ ENGLISH SPEAKING PROGRAMME, CLASS REP), content with my surroundings and environment, content with my NEW LIFE.

It took less time than I expected but thank god it has happened. Fear not, those of you who know me before, for I may have changed, but yet I'm still the same, only better (or so I perceive). Due to computer usage limitations as well, i cannot post pics of my life here till I get a decent personal computer (my desktop at home...not like you lucky bastards with personal laptops) and a decent internet connection.

I'd like to end this post, to summon you all my "avid" readers to take a few moments to read the products of what inspiration i've been blessed with this particular week.

GOD BLESS (btw...i'm not holy yet....)

Anti-Social

2008-07-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

antisocial1 [ӕntiˈsəuʃəl] adjective
against the welfare of the community. Example: It is antisocial to drop rubbish in the street.

antisocial2 [ӕntiˈsəuʃəl] adjective
not wanting the company of others. Example: Since his wife died, he has become more and more antisocial.

I don't remember the last time I felt this isolated, alien, and lonely. I mean, even my days locked up at home can't compare to this. I'm in college. I'm supposed to be roaming free like a tiger unleashed. But I can't help but reject my surroundings. I'm not racist. "My People" are generally very warm, humorous, and easy-going, but language is just such an obstacle for me here. Culture also is a barrier. Sigh. I hope this syndrome passes fast. For my own sanity.

I miss home alot. I miss my family alot. I miss my friends alot (regardless of how few there is). I miss KL. I miss hangin out malls just indulging. Over here, its been 3 weeks already and I've only met around 4 people hu can speak English. I did get to have a nice sit down chat wit one of them for about 2 hrs. That just maybe the highlight of the week for me. But again I got disappointed. Lookin for Kaki to try going exploring this new world for the 1st time and nobody's there. Sigh. Well, I guess I'll succumb to my anti-social self here for quite sometime.

Culture Shock

2008-07-05T03:05:00.000-07:00

My long abscence from blogging comes with a very good explaination. I've been away from a decent computer for almost the past few weeks now. I've been packing and leaving for Penang, registering at University of Technology MARA Pulau Pinang (MARA = bumiputra only), goin through a week of university orientation programme, and now I finally get to sit down and unload mind shit again.

Culture; the way of life of a certain race or community.
Shock; a sudden feeling of surprise, a physical excitement of the body.

Have you ever heard of a Malay (so-called), getting a culture shock from being around Malays only? Well if you haven't this may be an interesting entry for you. For those of you who do know the real me, think of the Iylia you know. Imagine him going through all of the following:

Speaking Bahasa Malaysia 9 out of 10 times I open my mouth (instead of 8 out of 10 English, 1 out of 10 Mandarin, and 1 out of 10 BM)
Wearing slack pants most of my waking hours.

Eating ONLY Malay food (this is not dat bad actually).

Actually looking forward to class.

Being ANTI-SOCIAL.

Almost crying cos missing home (refer to entry Domestic Helper).

Wearing Baju Melayu on Fridays

GOING FOR FRIDAY PRAYERS!

PRAYING.......5 TIMES A DAY!!

Hanging out in the MASJID!!!

Going to the masjid VOLUNTARILY!!

NOT CHECKING OUT GIRLS!!!! (Its UiTM wei...what to expect)

I fear, i'm about to endure my very own worst nightmare. Turning into....one of......

THEM

or worse still.....one of...

THEM

Sigh, pray my friends that I have the tenecity, determination, and strength to get through three years of this CULTURE SHOCK. Let not my next entry be a preaching or a pro-Malay political remark. May God have mercy on me. May you all my friends keep me on the ground about they way I am. haha. Peace Out.

(by the way people, I was forced to buy a book titled FALSAFAH MiM. MiM stands for Minda Melayu. So yeah, miss me alot people)

Discipline

2008-06-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

discipline (noun); 1. the training of people to obey rules or code of behaviour. 2. controlled behaviour from such training.

disciplined (verb); 1. train to be obedient or self-controlled. 2. PUNISH or rebuke formally for an offence.

Last Saturday (21/06/2008) , I was having lunch with two of my dear friends Alia Alias and Emalina Alim. While we were pleasantly indulging in our delicious Kenny Rogers Chicken, there suddenly was a loud ruckus beside us. There was this table, seated with a man and a boy (we assumed they were father and son). The little brat was jumping, thumping, screaming and humping around non-stop (ok, maybe not the last one)! If the noise wasn't blood boiling enough, the sight of the "father" just buat dek only and nicely enjoying his food as if he were deaf or dumb made us just boil even more. I wondered, how can a parent let their little product run around terrorizing society like that?? The shrieking and sound of the lil mofo's stomping on the wooden floor was so annoying! Till the extent..

Iylia said: Can I just shoot this kid?
Emalina said: I FEEL LIKE GOING OVER THERE AND SMACKING HIM!!
Alia said: My mum already would.

When she said that, she started opening tales of her childhood and how discipline and order was maintained in her family. I personally felt very amused because her parents' methods were quite similar to my own parents' disciplinary methods. So we spent sometime just sharing our stories and experiences of childhood mischief and what came along with it.

Growing up in my family, discipline and order was very well maintained. I believe its mainly due to the fact I had a dad who has been through rough times as a Cadet back in high school, and also because I have a CHINESE MOTHER (a Dragon Lady if you may). My parents often tell stories of how my siblings and I were when we were young. We could be crying and making noise during a dinner out wit them, and suddenly a sharp pinch or a hard smack would come flying, then there would be peace and serenity (till the next time we cried again though). All these cry-pinch-cry-smack maybe too long ago for me to remember, but there are many other memories that are still crystal clear to me.

TRUE LIFE STORIES:

Exhibit A - When I was small, I used to do homework, particularly math, very slowly. My mum often had to check on me and monitor me privately. So when i was doing work way too slow....
KTWAAAK!! (sound of pen/marker/pencil/bare knuckle flying to my head). One second, slow poke, one second later, Speedy Gonzales. I definitely got my work done much faster than if i were left alone to do it. Oh yeah...I also do alot of careless mistakes in math (still do) and some hard thing would also fly to my head. Lesson learnt from that, careless mistakes = (hard) knock to the head.

Exhibit B - There were times when I did something wrong and tried to deny it or hide it by lying. I thought it was the smart thing to do. Bad move. The moment my parents suspected I (or any of my siblings for that matter) were lying, out came the BIG GUNS. Either CHILI, CHILI PADI, CHILI PASTE, GARLIC or the usual CANE would be ready for me. One lie, one spoon full of terror, one lesson learnt. You tell cerita berapi = you get api in your mouth. (cerita berapi = fake story, api = fire).

Exhibit C - Once, my dad had asked my brother to spray the bedrooms with mosquito repellent. At that moment, I was still hanging around in my room. My brother got mischievous and started spraying me with the aerosol. So I obviously ran away, and shouted. My dad heard, saw what my bro was doing, snatched the aerosol can away from him, and gave him one nice knock on the head with it. Moral of the story, do something stupid = you get something stupid.

Exhibit D - My sister once had a bad habit of not doing her homework. One day, my mum was called to school for report card day (a day that most children dread), and my sister's teacher got a chance to tell my mum EVERYTHING. My mum was enraged to find out my sister had a year's worth of complaints not finishing homework. When she got home, ROYAL RUMBLE started. My mum screamed and shouted, summoning the whole family. Explained the whole situation in anger and order that my sister be tied up and gagged and thrown into the car bonnet to be disposed of. We the very obedient followers did as we were told. It was quite a dramatic sight. But right b4 we pulled my sis outta the door, she screamed for mercy and forgiveness, saying she learnt her lesson. True enough, my mum never received a complaint from any of my sister's teachers ever again.

Besides all these cases, there are just so many more experiences I've had being disciplined in my family. But what may seem to others as child abuse, I see it as the best form of child discipline a parent can give. Back then I hated my parents for doing what they did, but now all grown up, I'm glad they did so. If not, i would've ended up like little S.O.B beside us at Kenny Rogers. I can only hope to one day discipline my own children as good as my parents have disciplined me. Thanks again ma n pa.

So, how do YOU want your children to be?

Domestic Helper

2008-06-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

The following are real-life comments I have personally received before:

"You'd make a great husband" - Anonymous

"Whoever gets you sure damn lucky" - Anonymous

"You are great son-in-law material" - Anonymous

"Really? oh gosh! I wanna marry you!!" - Anonymous

"Don't let girls know you do these things." -Dr. Mustafa Kamal, my father.

If you're wondering what exactly these comments are referring to, its actually what I've been trained to do since i could talk...

HOUSE CHORES

Yes, my parents (god bless them) believe strongly in the old Malay proverb;

"Melentur buluh biar dari rebungnya"

Since the time we could actually walk and talk, my dear parents have trained me and my siblings to do house chores as service to the family. The house chores started small and simple like, making our own beds and cleaning up our own rooms. We started washing our own dishes as soon as my parents didn't have to spoon feed us anymore, we swept the floor as much as our little bodies were able to occasionally, and many other small tasks. But over time, the chores got more advanced and at certain extents, EXTREME.
Washing our own plates turned into taking turns to wash whatever was left in the sink after dinner. Sweeping only the floor downstairs turned into vacuuming every nook and cranny of the whole house as well as mopping both upstairs and downstairs. We even had to start putting clothes to wash, and out to dry, followed by folding the laundry. Everything carefully trained the way my mum wanted them to be.

My brother, being the 1st son, was also the 1st to endure the child labor. He got it real bad back then. There was no vacuum yet so he had to wipe every visible corner of the house with a damp cloth, sweep, mop the floor tile by tile down on his knees, also with a damp cloth because there was no mop at that time, and wipe the windows and grills. The worst part of all this was that he had to do all of it, ALONE.Luckily he was required to do all these advanced chores only once every week. Washing and keeping the dishes was still an everyday chore though. Every chore trained carefully by my mum the way she wanted it. (each chore was a bit exaggerated compared to how simple it should be because my mum was and forever will be a PERFECTIONIST)

By the time I could eat without assistance, it was my turn to be forced into slavery. Lucky for my brother, the addition of a new slave in the house meant less work for him because the work could be divided. True enough, the weekly chores were divided between me and him. My brother did the sweeping and mopping (we finally got a proper mop), I did the windows and grills as well as wiping. We took turns to do the dishes, washing and clearing. With the a new slave, my mum decided to add a new chore as well, WASHING THE TOILETS. Washing the toilets was the one chore my brother and I used to do together. Being boys, we usually ended up playing with water in the bathroom instead of cleaning it. But then again, I guess it was our way of letting loose after a day of weekly chores (usually done on the weekends).

My younger sister came into the picture a bit later. By then, my bro and I were pros at our chores. The chores became more of a habit than responsibility. When my sister started to walk and talk, i was ready and hoping for a new slave to shed some weight of our shoulders. But I was disappointed. Being the only daughter in the house, my sister got a little better treatment than my bro and I did. She was sort of like the Princess of the house. My mum didn't want her to do hard labor as we have been doing. No wiping, no sweeping, no mopping, no washing. All with the excuse that my mum didn't want to spoil her Princess' feminine hands. Her chores were limited to making her own bed and cleaning her own room. With our hopes for to establish Domestic Slaves Co. dashed, my bro and I carried on with our miserable weekly torment. It wasn't till much later when my elder bro had major exams and had to focus more on his studies that my sis was finally was shackled to slavery with me.

Growing up, i used to dread and hate the coming of Hari Raya and Chinese New Year. The coming of a festival meant only one thing, SPRING CLEANING. Spring cleaning in my house was hell, especially with my slave-driver of a mum, she was really good at giving orders and finding the most ridiculous things for us to clean. Kitchen cabinet doors, drawers, all the doors (including doorknob) downstairs, polishing all the wooden furniture, and so many others that she felt had to be done (when in fact people wouldn't even give a shit if some of those things she told us to clean were clean or not). One of my worst Spring Cleaning experiences was...CLEANING BEHIND THE STOVE AND REFRIGERATOR. The two places were so dreadful because they were covered so thick in dust and grease, and the stains+smell from cleaning them would stick to my fingers (take a look behind your own stove and fridge to get a glimpse of what I'm talking about).

Besides house chores and keeping the house clean, there are also many times my mum asks for favors or help such as, putting clothes to wash, putting clothes out to dry, folding laundry, washing the car, clearing and moving stuff, so much-much more. There has never been a day at home when my mum has nothing for me to do. Its almost like I'm on-call for assistance as long as I'm awake. And my mum being the perfectionist she is, dealing with the way she wants things (certain clothes must be folded this way, that way, her antiques and photo frames must be put at this or that particular angle, a certain object must be facing this way out or that way out) can sometimes or usually can get very frustrating. My mum's is quite hard to please actually but she's always full of orders and commands.

But now that I'm grown up, all these chores, house cleaning and being helpful around the house has become part of my life. They've actually helped me in so many ways. By now, I'm so good at cleaning and keeping the house in order that its all so simple to me. I'm able to do things that most urban kids never even imagined doing. Better than that, the fact that I do house chores so well has gained me much respect, admiration, and praise from people around me. All this training is definitely a great preparation and tool for me and my siblings when we leave the comfort of home for our own independent lives. My parents have not only taught us to keep a clean and neat house environment, but also through house chores, they have brought us up to become disciplined, patient, organized and hardworking individuals. It took me till now to actually realize the significance of being brought up as child slaves. I thank god and my parents for the way I've been brought up. I hope to one day bring up my children as well my parents have done with me and my siblings.

The main reason this post came up was because of my thoughts on what I've done for my mum just the whole of yesterday:

Sweep the front porch
Put a load of laundry to wash
Clear the dry dishes
Wash whatever is in the sink for the day.
Wipe all the kitchen counters (to get rid of ants)
Put the laundry out to dry
Polish the wooden coffee table in the living room
Polish the small stainless steal wok.
Polish the big stainless steel wok.
Carry her stuff in and out of the car.
Do some computer work for my mum's friend.
Sort out my mum's receipts for her income tax.

All just in a day's work for me. With my bro living away now, and me leaving for college soon, it'll just be my mum, dad and sis at home. The emptiness of which is absence the main house janitor (me) , is supposedly going to be filled by a domestic helper a.k.a MAID. I guess its safe to say that I've been quite the domestic helper all my life. Thank you ma and pa.

Iylia's Very First Online Brain Waste

2008-06-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

Greetings, dear sad person reading this post. Haha. I'm like 20 years old and only getting a blog now. But hey, better late than never, right? Before going any further, I gotta thank a few people for inspiring me to start Iylia's Brain Waste. I gotta thank my mum and dad for allowing me to grow up a certified day dreamer, night dreamer and natural born crapper. Next, i gotta thank two (or maybe three) of my dearest friends for getting me interested in blogging anyway, Ms. Ti Lien Yiny (Lien Yiny's World), and Eugene Lau Zhe Wei as well as Marcus Wai Kar Hung (Bukan-Homo). Without them starting their blogs and filling em up with nice brain waste of their own, i would have forever thought blogging was for losers who ain't got no life so they run to the only thing they could complain to and won't talk/shout/bark/bite back. THE COMPUTER!! (they could've used a diary..but its like so last century)

I wonder why it took me this long to start my own blog. Its not like i didn't have any brain waste before, i mean, I'm so full of brain waste, I could a fill up an Olympic sized swimming pool with my mind-shit. But anyway, you all will find that out soon enough.

Its 0131 hours here in Kuala Lumpur now. I've been wanting to let out this particular brain waste that's been clogging up my thought pipes long enough. Nothing fancy, but yet it appeals strongly to me cos its been in my head since ever. So here goes my first official Brain Waste for you all.

IYLIA'S 10 SIMPLE PLEASURES OF LIFE (Vol.1)

Sleeping
Eating & Drinking
Mamak Food (Roti Canai, Maggi Goreng Double Telur Mata, etc...)
Pissing after you've held it in for awhile and its gonna blow if you didn't wizz any sooner.
Shitting (not a pleasure if its Diarrhea)
Farting (preferably when its noticeable)
God's gift of sight (used to maximum potential at every situation, e.g: Chics at Sg.Wang)
Wanking (God Bless those who dunno what this is)
Nice Music
Singing and dancing.

Iylia's Brain Waste

The Dream Pick Up

I Miss You

Maslow Was Right

Soundtracks

Of Birthdays, Special Occasions, and Gifts

SHAZ...a.k.a My Bonnie

August 2010

Nature At Its Best

хорошие времена

Wasted Brain Waste

"What is a *toot* like THAT doing with a *bleep* like THAT?"

I'm Not Dead, Overdue Brain Waste For All.

House

2009: A New Year's Resolution

Friends

Places of Me

Girl Talk

Player

Out Of Reach

IYLIA'S TOP 10 HOTTEST FEMALE CELEBRITIES UNDER 25 2008

Frozen

Looking Back To Move Forward

Clueless

Randomness

Clouds

Fragile Creatures

What a Blogger.

Anti-Social

Culture Shock

Discipline

Domestic Helper

Iylia's Very First Online Brain Waste

"What is a toot like THAT doing with a bleep like THAT?"